Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Hard disk drive
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Hard disk drive[edit source]
It's my first try at writing an article, so at least tell me its funny even though it isn't.
No seriously just be honest. I don't mind to be criticized because at the end, in 2012, we'll all die.
Lewis82 02:52, November 29, 2009 (UTC)
| Humour: | 5 | First of all, please discount my number "grades"--They are a requirement of the format, but I don't spend a lot of time picking numbers. This article isn't nearly long enough. Normally, that's just a matter of spending more time and more thought. You give us a little fake history and one conspiracy theory, but there are many other things to talk about. Don't just make stuff up out of the blue. Take what is true, and either deliberately misinterpret it to be funny, or fantasize in a way that is parallel to what is true, like a double meaning. Computer science is full of jokes to use. For example, Archimedes's "hard disk drive" might simply have been a "write-only memory." I have a similar article on Floppy disk you could look at to compare. |
| Concept: | 8 | We surely need an article on Hard disk drive, because everyone who reads these articles has one and has thought about it. There are many ways in which to expand this article. |
| Prose and formatting: | 5 | Formatting is fine. Prose is spotty. A query right at the beginning: "I did told you"--Are you a Latino? Saying this rather than "I did tell you" is a mistake my Latina girlfriend always made. In the intro: "There is some debate"--See my recommendation on encyclopedia-like ways to start a sentence that you should resist--especially when you go on to say the debate is irrelevant. "History" paragraph 2: I know you are simply exaggerating, but these exaggerations are unbelievable; UN:HTBFANJS calls impossibly high numbers clichés and recommends you avoid them. Make more subtle jokes, rather than throw stuff at the reader he knows is false. The final sentence (implanting a disk in a baby's brain) is probably true! and not funny until you start to think about some of the crazy implications this would have. Does Dad Google something? or does he just ask his six-month-old to look it up? |
| Images: | 0 | This will be an easy one. There are no images. It should be easy to come up with images--one of an actual hard disk, and perhaps several others of things that aren't hard disks, with funny explanations of what they are doing in the article. |
| Miscellaneous: | 5 | I'll go down the middle and score this a 5, because I can't give you an "Incomplete." Once again, there are many additional directions to take this article, and I hope you'll stick with it. |
| Final Score: | 23 | You're welcome to discuss this further on my talk page. |
| Reviewer: | Spıke ¬ 04:36 29-Nov-09 | |