Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Danube (again)

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Danube

Hovereel 13:42, 17 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh man this has got so much better. I would give it, like, a 28 or something. But I'm not reviewing it. IronLung 10:21, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Do not fear, I got this one. It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.

Humour:	4	This definitely needs working on. It is a massive, and I mean MASSIVE, improvement from the first, but still needs a lot more work if you want it to shine. First off, the article is drowned in cliches, from the very first sentence: "The Danube is the best river in the world." Just fixing that would make the article better. Think of a way to introduce the article that isn't cliche or random. That would help. Another thing, a lot of the bits of this article are very random. A prime example of this is that line about a penis turning into a vagina. That line has really, really, got to go. Fix up some of the random bits and make the article more about its title to easily boost this score.
Concept:	5	The concept of the article really isn't that bad, but the execution was pretty poor. As I stated above, you need to make this article more about its subject matter. Also, the concept is simple, and while that isn't neccesarily a terrible thing, it's very easy to get lost when writing an article revolved around one. I would recommend taking a look at Nursery, it shows you how you can take a simple concept and craft it into a great article. The article's author, Orian57, would also be a good person to help steer you on your way.
Prose and formatting:	6	Nothing too bad here, except for the occasional spelling mistake, which is easy to fix. If you don't have Firefox, and the spell checker, which can come in quite handy, I reccomend you copy paste it into Microsoft Word. Also, beware of the occasional comma splice and run-on sentence. I think you should be fine, your article is solid in this field.
Images:	5.5	Also, nothing really to complain about. Images are okay and they fit well into the article. I think that you could have added some more humor, but still.
Miscellaneous:	5.1	averaged with pee.
Final Score:	25.6	I think this needs some fine tuning. make it less random, and fit in more with the topic, and it wold be decent.
Reviewer:	It's Me Bitches! Don't worry, I won't kill you.