Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Cosmic Guidance

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Cosmic Guidance

I had this (frankly, quite absurd) idea for an article and wrote it in the subdirectory of my userpage. It's fairly good now, but maybe you can help me with some improvements like: Image position, categories, content improvement, whatever needs further changing. Thanks for taking a look at it. --~~~~

BlackInkWriter 18:16, 8 February 2008 (UTC)

Cosmic Guidance is being reviewed by CajekHi! Your Source for Fine Scented Pee And Whatever Else Comes Out Of Him

Kicking asses in UN:PR is the only place I CAN kick asses!   Le Cejak • <Apr 01, 2008 [1:07]>

Humour:	4.3	Average of each section. Lez do this! Introduction [6]: I feel like you're being very clever, disguising what it is you're talking about, but I must disagree. You should, only in the intro, come out directly and say what it is you're talking about. Horoscopes? God? Huh? Bu-wha? 1 Origin [5]: Oh, ya lost me. If this was an article on Cosmic waves, then it might work better. But as it is, it's pretty random. I can't blame you though: the title is very vague. What is this supposed to be about? You should probably move this article to Cosmic Waves... if you're not a PANSY! (yes, that was a challenge to your manhood. You feel pretty self-conscious right now, don't you Blackink?) 2 CGI [4]: Blackink, I know the article is supposed to be absurd! I get it! You don't have to make it so crazy that my eyes miss sentences at a time! I will give you specific advice on how to rewrite this article without feeling like it was a waste of time @ the end of this review. 3 Aimed Usage [5]: Cosmic Guidance is... for inspiration? Where can I learn about Cosmic Guidance? Cosmic Guidance! Tone down the randomness, please! I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I just want to get to the meat of this article. 3.1 Theory [4]: Sadly, it's only 2 sentences long! 3.2 Scientology Again [5]: The joke is about a steel funnel. You should just keep it on that... wait, no! this article is about cosmic rays! WTF? 4 Remedy [4]: it's just 1 sentence long. 4.1 The most Popular Solution [4] 4.2 Definite Solution [4] 4.3 Alternative Medicine [3] 4.4 What You Can Do [3] 5 See also [X]: just delete this section. You really don't need it.
Concept:	5	Totally ass-rape random concept. What is cosmic guidance, anyway? I read the whole thing and it made no sense. Here, have the Random Panda Award. OMFG, HOW DO I STOP THIS CRAZY THING, BLACKINKWRITER?!?
Prose and formatting:	6	I noticed spelling errors. Nothing major.
Images:	6	The images would work better with an article that knew what it was about, I think. Choose a definite topic for this article. I know that it'll be hard, but try to be specific in your randomness. You can do random right, if you try.
Miscellaneous:	5.3	avg'd
Final Score:	26.6	Take a look at User:Cajek/1st, which is a list of a bunch of "famous" Uncyc user's first articles. It's for inspiration, mostly, but it's useful. I want you to do the following: choose ONE SENTENCE in each of your 11 sections and delete everything else around it in each section. Start at the beginning. Choose one sentence and go down your article deleting anything that doesn't have to do with that first sentence. From there, form your ideas around what remains. I hope I wasn't too hard! Ooh, maybe I was... Well, I still enjoy that you obviously put a lot of work into this article, Blacky!
Reviewer:	Le Cejak • <Apr 01, 2008 [1:07]>

• Ow, damnit, you broke my ass! D'you always put on steel boots when reviewing articles? ;)

I love the way you kill ideas. Now I'll try to get going with reanimating that corpse.

So yeah, I guess I was counting on randomness too much. I made another article with a fairly good initial idea (Things Hidden In Food - If it doesn't look interesting to you right away, don't bother :) ). Well, but it got lost in lukewarm punchlines. I had some ideas sorted out in my mind, but they weren't as smashing in the article.

So uh, would you say it's pretty hopeless or could that "Cosmic Guidance" thing turn out to be a fine read among uncycled articles?

PS: There's not much of a manlyhood to insult ... yet. You see, I'm a boy! I'm a silly little boy, wheeeeeeaaah!

Alright, Cajekeedeedledoo, thanks a lot for taking the time. I'm going to get my bum amputated now. I'll let you know as soon as that senseless article has found it's place and purpose in this world ... --BlackInkWriter 11:20, 1 April 2008 (UTC)

I'm glad you're willing to work on Cosmic. I'm going to add it to my watchlist and see what you do with it. But also check out User:Cajek/1st for inspiration. Glad you liked my review, Blacky!   Le Cejak • <Apr 01, 2008 [14:04]>

---

Previous (schmaltzy) Review

Humour:	8	Great humor. Like it when articles have clean humor. Keep up the good work.
Concept:	9	The field of science is always happy to have someone piss in their coffee.
Prose and formatting:	10	You have worked your ass off just making the prose and formatting JUST RIGHT!!
Images:	8	Nice pictures. I thought that's funny. My advice: add some templates to add to the humor
Miscellaneous:	9	You must be dedicated to your work
Final Score:	44	Keep it up! You are doing fine!
Reviewer:	IViking 13:40, 29 February 2008 (UTC)

Thanks! Yeah, it's true ... That article took quite some time to get done. Your review is very encouraging. Do you think it's a potential VFH?

Templates would be great, but I haven't worked with em yet. Can you suggest any? Regards, --BlackInkWriter 14:34, 29 March 2008 (UTC)

Bit of a short review there IViking, I would encourage you to take a look at the Pee Review guidelines if you have not already... As BlackInkWriter asks, it's usually more useful to know why you have given the scores you have, and what improvements could be made. Regarding the article... I think it's got potential for VFH, but it's not there yet. I will toss a few edits your way BlackInkWriter, and you can see what you make of them. Also, I would not suggest adding templates unless you really have a good reason to do so. Generally templates don't add much to the quality of an article. MrN 15:02, Mar 29

Thanks to MrN9000! Apparently, IViking is known for giving too short reviews. Frankly, I do think it wasn't all that helpful, given one sentence per category. I'd like some specific points of criticism about the article. If it's close to VFH already, then that's great! I'll start improving it then. --BlackInkWriter 16:00, 30 March 2008 (UTC)

Hey BlackInk, would you mind if I reviewed it?   Le Cejak • <Mar 30, 2008 [19:30]>

Why, that'd be just great! Go kick my ass! ;) --BlackInkWriter 21:57, 31 March 2008 (UTC)