Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Consolation Prize

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Consolation Prize

Formality. --THINKER 21:39, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

Sycamore is reviewing your article, in this boring period of waiting enjoy Noel with this free coupon--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 10:42, 8 June 2008 (UTC)

A Free Coupon For a bumming session with Noel Fielding

Humour:	9	Not altogether unexpected, the article is funny throughout and well put together, I'd be surprised to see this not getting featured-although there are some improvements that could be done. 1st: The section is vaguely defined as when Wayne wins the Lima beans. Funny and well put together, however often poor English use, often colloquial American expressions like "Fail" instead of "Failure" obviously it's an American site, but I think it does function to blight the article somewhat. Throughout is a funny interweaving of the gameshow and Wayne-I think for my part that you could fill out the charter a great deal. We have a show I the UK called Red Dwarf, and in it there’s this hologram twat called Rimmer-bare with me-within the books the are a various hysterical descriptions, with reference to Wayne you could have more intimate life details because you are telling the story in the third person, there could be greater details of Wayne for more amusement. Within the first section although the description of the gameshow is ok in the strictest sense of the word I think the images don't give as solid an impression of the studio or Wayne, this is something to consider. The use of third person prose and direct speech though Cquotes is very spunky, and hold the article together well in a fairly original way. 2nd section: I'm counting this from when Wayne wins the Lima beans. it’s a little short and again I think the characterization is lacking here, there’s bit of a gap developing within the narrative-here we see Wayne getting sick of Lima beans=Thai Russian Roulette. Its good, but you could fill this out more. I particularly like the image here and works well within the piece. This section does however feel a little tacked on-with a change in setting you could stand have further character progression other than a whole Deer hunter style showdown. I personally get the impression that being the Uber-writer you've been to conscientious of length and this has not helped-I say that if it's got a reason to be there it should be there regardless of length-here I would add more to the story. What’s more the strength already present mean there could be several avenues of interest, for example I doubt Wayne it a success wit the ladies- there could be something there (just a thought), similarly career prospects and situation could also be filled out not only here but also in the preceding part. It’s difficult to get too in depth here-The article is more than sound, however there is a problem I thin with the fact that they don’t necessarily lead on from one another. Similarly the second part in Thailand seems a little tacked on-I would correct this by making reference to the end somehow within the beginning and lead the beginning much more towards the second part
Concept:	9.5	Superb concept and well put together- characterization and storyline I think are the two gripes that I have with it, similarly the top images weaken the atmosphere you have created with the prose.
Prose and formatting:	8	Very good, the odd American slang is alright but not to my personal preference. Very few links, I'm guessing you’ll add these later. I think the cquote use works very well indeed. Again back to the initial gripe is that you could add more-it’s often a little terse which detracts from the article, however this is minor and will likely go with future expansion. Although the Cquotes work brilliantly I think there is a case for there to be less of them-and more prose to fill out the concept and story more.
Images:	6	Some very good ones particularly the last one the preceding three I'm a little mixed over-they're funny, just a little weak-I think they contrast the quality writing. Overall I don't think there’s anything to glaring with the images-it is possible however that they could be a little better.
Miscellaneous:	9	Great stuff; another quality article from your workshop-You’ll have no bother getting this featured, and it’s a great article already in itself.
Final Score:	41.5	If there’s any queries, just leave a note on my talkpage;)
Reviewer:	--— Sir Sycamore (talk) 17:00, 8 June 2008 (UTC)