Can anyone help me to get my page up and running as i have been told there is a good chance that it will be deleted. I have already had a little help with my editing which i am very grateful for. If it would be possible to le me know what needs changing and why i can get straight on it.
Thank you in advance
Gav
Gavaroo 07:48, 9 January 2009 (UTC)
| Humour:
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2
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Random is rarely funny. First paragraph, you've got Darth Vader's daughter, Ivanhoe searching for an heir from his deathbed (just a mild case of death?), and who the hell is Tony Christie? That's just the first paragraph! It reads like a hastily constructed vanity article about your town. . . Problem is, only readers from your town are likely to find it funny if it's just a bunch of in-jokes.
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| Concept:
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4
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Again, local concept=local funny, and everyone else will find it boring, unless you can find something Conisbrough is well known for, and poke fun at that.
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| Prose and formatting:
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7
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On the plus side, you clearly have a grasp of the language and how to use it. Kudos!
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| Images:
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6
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Not bad. Appropriate images, and the bus shelter caption gave me a chuckle.
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| Miscellaneous:
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4.8
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| Final Score:
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23.8
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To save this, you'll need to do a major rewrite from top to bottom. I don't want to seem harsh, but this really does need a lot of work. Don't get discouraged, and keep at it: humour doesn't ripen overnight.
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| Reviewer:
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Sir Tooltroll, Esq. CUN • Eh? • Oh! • UnTunes! • • I  my cat! 15:08, 17 January 2009 (UTC)
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