Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Algorithm

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Algorithm[edit source]

Clipperride 17:23, August 27, 2011 (UTC)

I'll gladly do this one. --Care for a lick? Lollipop Care for a lick? - CONTRIBS - WRITINGS - SHOP - Now adopting! - 17:45, 27 August 2011
Thank you - I look forward to seeing what you think --Clipperride 17:40, August 28, 2011 (UTC)\
Looks like he's not doing this after all... apologies, Clipperride. For anyone else who may want to, however, please don't hesitate; this review is open. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 16:57, 5 September 2011
Hope someone can spare the time to have a read through m'first article as I want to write some more. I'd like to hear if this first one is up to par before continuing. Thanks. --Clipper Ride - Broom Master 1st Class 17:36, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
Practice'll get them all up to par eventually, so even if it ain't yet, no matter. You'll get the hang of things; writing just for writing's sake can prove useful in of itself, after all. But anyway, I'll give this a review now. Perhaps that'll help as well. Should be done shortly. Probably. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 21:21, 5 September 2011
Cheers :-)--Clipper Ride - Broom Master 1st Class 21:26, September 5, 2011 (UTC)
Concept: 4 Okay, so... what is it? What is an algorithm? If the word has multiple meanings, don't just say it has multiple meanings, say what they are, and how they're related. If they're not related save for the name, it would probably work better to put them in separate articles; one as Algorithm (contraceptive) or just Al Gore Rhythm and the other Algorithm (customer relations) with Algorithm as a disambiguation between them or something. Regardless of what they are, however, you need to make your concepts clear from the start, as that way you'll have a much easier time engaging your reader and also building off what's already established throughout the piece. A good article generally sticks to its concept(s) throughout, after all.

As for two you have, the Al Gore Rhythm, while a cute pun, doesn't seem to have a whole lot you can do with it, so really you'd probably be better off putting that idea aside entirely and focusing on the other thing. Customer relations, eh? It's certainly an interesting take on the matter, but from reading this, it seems like this article was written by someone who doesn't actually know what an algorithm is - I don't know if this is the case or not, or even if it's not entirely intentional, but it just doesn't work. Without connection to actual thing, it's apt to just leave readers lost, trying to find a connection they expect to be there - what that connection turns out to be and how it manifests, however, is often where the humour comes in. You already have the frustration of dealing with customer service, which is amusing in of itself, so work into that what algorithms actually are - instructions. Seeing as instructions and methods apply to pretty much everything, it should certainly be doable, and throwing in references to various search methods and other algorithms and whatnot would also prove interesting, for those of us more versed in the matter. Maybe even have something about complexity issues - perhaps solving the NP-complete has been a long-sought after goal because of how it'll get people past costumer service to someone who's actually in charge...

Humour: 5 You know how to make jokes, and you know how to write them... I think I already covered the main issue in the concept section, though, so I won't repeat that; making it all tie together more should probably be your first concern. I'll grant, this is all just my take on it, so take it how you will, but the lack of connection to the thing itself does rather detriment the article's potential humour at this point.

That said, you'll probably be wanting more content regardless of what you do. Perhaps something on the development of algorithms, or on specific ones that tend to be used regardless of who by, maybe further ways around them like the mashing of buttons to get past the phone system (which would have been set up with an algorithm as well; maybe they applied another one to fix it?), maybe... developers? Companies that made significant strides in 'improving' customer service techniques, named after famous mathematicians, or something. Hells, since you're linking the Wikipedia article, you could take this further than otherwise, as linking the thing, it gives even the clueless something to look off of to see what you're actually talking about.

Prose and formatting: 7 You write pretty well. Doesn't have any of the usual failings, massive lists, quotes, etc, so very nice in that regard. Organisation and introduction could use some touching up like I already said, though. You'll probably want to give it a proofreading at some point, but that pretty much always applies anyway.
Images: 6 The image you have is decent, though you'll probably want to add more, especially as you add more content. I'd work on the caption, though - use that to tie the image into the article, ideally either making another joke or extending one. What's the guy actually doing? How are the algorithms making it harder on him?
Miscellaneous: 6 Six for sixes. I don't know. If you haven't, I'd check out some of the featured articles for ideas/examples of what apparently works. Or people think it works, anyway. Which I guess means it does, humour being so subjective as it is.
Final Score: 28 This piece has definite potential, but at present it seems a little lost; hopefully this'll help, having another person's impression and whatnot. If you have any questions/comments/would like to stick a knife in me, don't hesitate to stop by my talkpage, and best of luck to you.
Reviewer: 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 22:48, 5 September 2011
4
Bloink.svg
Concept
The idea, the angle, the grand funny of the article...
Okay, so... what is it? What is an algorithm? If the word has multiple meanings, don't just say it has multiple meanings, say what they are, and how they're related. If they're not related save for the name, it would probably work better to put them in separate articles; one as Algorithm (contraceptive) or just Al Gore Rhythm and the other Algorithm (customer relations) with Algorithm as a disambiguation between them or something. Regardless of what they are, however, you need to make your concepts clear from the start, as that way you'll have a much easier time engaging your reader and also building off what's already established throughout the piece. A good article generally sticks to its concept(s) throughout, after all.

As for two you have, the Al Gore Rhythm, while a cute pun, doesn't seem to have a whole lot you can do with it, so really you'd probably be better off putting that idea aside entirely and focusing on the other thing. Customer relations, eh? It's certainly an interesting take on the matter, but from reading this, it seems like this article was written by someone who doesn't actually know what an algorithm is - I don't know if this is the case or not, or even if it's not entirely intentional, but it just doesn't work. Without connection to actual thing, it's apt to just leave readers lost, trying to find a connection they expect to be there - what that connection turns out to be and how it manifests, however, is often where the humour comes in. You already have the frustration of dealing with customer service, which is amusing in of itself, so work into that what algorithms actually are - instructions. Seeing as instructions and methods apply to pretty much everything, it should certainly be doable, and throwing in references to various search methods and other algorithms and whatnot would also prove interesting, for those of us more versed in the matter. Maybe even have something about complexity issues - perhaps solving the NP-complete has been a long-sought after goal because of how it'll get people past costumer service to someone who's actually in charge...

5
Bloink.svg
Humour
The implementation, how funny the article comes out...
You know how to make jokes, and you know how to write them... I think I already covered the main issue in the concept section, though, so I won't repeat that; making it all tie together more should probably be your first concern. I'll grant, this is all just my take on it, so take it how you will, but the lack of connection to the thing itself does rather detriment the article's potential humour at this point.

That said, you'll probably be wanting more content regardless of what you do. Perhaps something on the development of algorithms, or on specific ones that tend to be used regardless of who by, maybe further ways around them like the mashing of buttons to get past the phone system (which would have been set up with an algorithm as well; maybe they applied another one to fix it?), maybe... developers? Companies that made significant strides in 'improving' customer service techniques, named after famous mathematicians, or something. Hells, since you're linking the Wikipedia article, you could take this further than otherwise, as linking the thing, it gives even the clueless something to look off of to see what you're actually talking about.

7
Bloink.svg
Prose and formatting
Appearance, flow, overall presentation...
You write pretty well. Doesn't have any of the usual failings, massive lists, quotes, etc, so very nice in that regard. Organisation and introduction could use some touching up like I already said, though. You'll probably want to give it a proofreading at some point, but that pretty much always applies anyway.
6
Bloink.svg
Images
The graphics themselves, as well as their humour and relevance...
The image you have is decent, though you'll probably want to add more, especially as you add more content. I'd work on the caption, though - use that to tie the image into the article, ideally either making another joke or extending one. What's the guy actually doing? How are the algorithms making it harder on him?
6
Bloink.svg
Miscellaneous
Anything else... or not...
Six for sixes. I don't know. If you haven't, I'd check out some of the featured articles for ideas/examples of what apparently works. Or people think it works, anyway. Which I guess means it does, humour being so subjective as it is.
28
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Final score
1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 22:48, 5 September 2011
This piece has definite potential, but at present it seems a little lost; hopefully this'll help, having another person's impression and whatnot. If you have any questions/comments/would like to stick a knife in me, don't hesitate to stop by my talkpage, and best of luck to you.