Uncyclopedia:Featured articles/August 22

Captain Autofellatio is a noble and powerful superhero. His powers include a slightly longer than usual penis and an unusually flexible spine. Captain Autofellatio uses these powers to keep citizens safe from harm and to give himself oral pleasures. Well, mostly to give himself oral pleasures.

Along with his compatriots in arms, Captain Obvious, Captain Understatement, and Captain Oblivious, Captain Autofellatio forms one-fourth of the powerful superhero team, The Good Four. The team had originally called themselves the Fantastic Four, but were sued for copyright infringement, and when it came time to rename their squad their hearts just weren't in it. (Full article...)