UnTweets:My exam hell

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Name: Simon Kossis
Location: Telford, Shropshire, England
Bio: Stressed Sixth former facing public examinations.
Following 240.
Followers 3.


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Si Kossis

When my mother told me to try to relax the night before an exam, she was probably hoping I wouldn't take her so literally.

new droid x nbd. gona start tweeting follow me bitches #helloworld

3:34pm April 22nd, 2010 from web

offer from manchester to do politics! need two ds nd a c in history. #doddle

9:14pm April 24th, 2010 from web

saw jane ellis from history at swiming baths in bikini wit breasts that make me want to cry. #illneverblinkagain

5:45pm April 30th, 2010 from web

to the shops for tisues. gona pull it off or be blind by morning!

5:48pm April 30th, 2010 from web

a-levels start tomorrow. sleep early nd early morning for last minute swotting.

3:34pm May 20th, 2010 from web

in line for exam hall. not making eye contact so non of the clever kids tlaks to me (y)

9:05am May 21st, 2010 from web

grate trainers to stare at #wankwankwank

9:05am May 21st, 2010 from web

said hello to tommy. hes lazier than me! but i did less revision...confidence level about 5/10. @tomcat

9:07am May 21st, 2010 from web

You mean English Lit. is tomorrow?

wish id got up at 4 instead of sleeping to 845. probs shuldnt have watched shower scene from starship troopers til 130...confidence 4/10

9:08 am May 21st, 2010 from web

found "metnal pete". at least i didnt spend the night in a police cell like him...confidence about 6 now. @petemoss

9:10am May 21st, 2010 from web


culdnt find candidate number on list. cant even remember name lol or wut subject were sitting! doomed...confidence 1/10 (n)

9:14am May 21st, 2010 from web

sat in the only empty seat. rite in back behind jane. #wankwankwank

9:15 am May 21st, 2010 from web

might as well keep tweting nd get disqualed instead of failing.

9:15 am May 21st, 2010 from web


justin faggot davis brought a good luck teddy bear. think the fat fucks gonna cry, the queer...confidence 5/10 !!!! @justjustin

9:18 am May 21st, 2010 from web


A' levels, providing unnecessary stress for British teenagers since 1952.

jesus what it wuld be like to fuck jane elis...or anyone! #sex

9:21 am May 21st, 2010 from web

now ive got an erection nd it’s making the exam desk wobble (n)

9:21 am May 21st, 2010 from web

techers stil fucking about wit papers at front. drew a picture of mr edwards sukcing off pet dog he brings to school lol

9:23 am May 21st, 2010 from web

edwards put a question paper upside-down on my desk & winked at me, the perv! #whatapaedo

9:25 am May 21st, 2010 from web

someone at the front farted haha

9:25 am May 21st, 2010 from web


shit studied rong module on bus. fillled in first side tho...confidence 3/10

9:33 am May 21st, 2010 from web

looking fr distractions but my pencils are already sharp, fuck...confidence down to 2/10.

9:34 am May 21st, 2010 from web

In the 1950's, the main purpose of public examinations was to provide extended opportunities to stare at the backside of the girl sitting in front, but now there’s the internet for that sort of thing.

will knowing abotut the nazis help wit the america cvil war??? confidence 1/10. #imsofucked

9:35 am May 21st, 2010 from web

jus lost 20 mins of the exam staring at janes arse nd now u can see right through her shirt nd shes def not wearing a bra. OMG! #boneralert

10.36 am May 21st, 2010 from web


sharpened both ends of my pecnils to chil out. dont no wut to do now but cant look up in case i see Jane again nd pass out.

10.39 am May 21st, 2010 from web

looked up nd janes jeans have sliped down #blackpanties

10.40 am May 21st, 2010 from web

fucking huge stiffy almost knocking the desk over nd it wont go away no matter how much i think about dead puppies (n)

10.41 am May 21st, 2010 from web

hid phone wen Edwards walked past smirking. twat twat twat twat twat!

10.42 am May 21st, 2010 from web

Sure, History seemed easier than Physics, but what was wrong with Sociology?

culdnt overcome urge to look up nd theres a hint of arsecrack now! have to think about edwards in speedos lol #purpleheadedmonster

10.42 am May 21st, 2010 from web


had to take supervised toilet break to deal with it. edwards kept asking if i was ok...think he wanted to join me. #whatapaedo

10.47 am May 21st, 2010 from web


feeling good enouhg to try a question. who won the war? gotta be Brazil..confidence 3/10 #imagenius

1 0.52 am May 21st, 2010 from web

shit..gave up agan. never gonna get to manchetser now. e is good enough for aberystwth but im not interested in sheep or incest.

10.55 am May 21st, 2010 from web

Everyone else, and I mean everyone, knows more about the Battle of Gettysburg- even Carl and he still eats worms.

sharpening my ruler (y)

1 0.59 am May 21st, 2010 from web

considering if spiderman culd breed with catwoman or if his spider dna wuld be a problem.

11.00 am May 21st, 2010 from web

mayb batman culd - theyre both mamals. babies wuld have radar nd like yarn lol!

11.01 am May 21st, 2010 from web


counting the lower case “a’s” nd shading them to prove men can multi task.

11.10 am May 21st, 2010 from web


bored with shading in, might as well write an sort of essay #wishmeluck

11.14 am May 21st, 2010 from web


shaded in pic of abraham lincon to see what hed have look like as a slave.

11.17 am May 21st, 2010 from web

Books on examination technique always state the importance of balance in a well structured essay.

aded a cock to lincons head (y) #pablovangogh

11.17 am May 21st, 2010 from web


sharpening my finger.

11.19 am May 21st, 2010 from web

finished letter to examiner...fingers crossed hes the kind of lonely old fuck you’d expect to be a history grader #foreveralone

11.20 am May 21st, 2010 from web


now drew a cock on jeferson davis for political balance #smartjoke

11.23 am May 21st, 2010 from web

aded 4 kisses to letter...hope examiner’s as big a paedo as Edwards. only 4 tho, dont want him to think I’m desperate lol

11.25 am May 21st, 2010 from web

Any....second...now

all done...will swagger past clever kids then its straight to the pub (y)

11.27 am May 21st, 2010 from web

pete says he rote his esay on how agricutlural-industral tension made socio-economic divides across th mason-dixon line that caused war #wat

11.41 am May 21st, 2010 from web

think pete may have lied about spending the night with the rozzers #whatadick

11.42 am May 21st, 2010 from web

nothing hits the spot like strongbow and blackcurrant! shuldve shaded in the d’s and p’s #regret #toodrunktocare

11.45 am May 21st, 2010 from web