UnNews:Wikipedia will stop at nothing to quash Uncyclopedia
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4 August 2006
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THE INTERWEB -- Wikipedia, the leading outsider of nonsense and contradiction, has announced an open war against Uncyclopedia. "We did not seek it, but we will fight it", says Han Solo, the Chef of Staff of Wikipedia. "The Axis of Stupidness [Uncyclopedia] can not continue it's existance. It WILL not. Too long has it fooled the minds of the people. This is a desperate act, but these are desperate times." Uncyclopedia has not yet released any official comment to Wikipedia's announcement. Uncyclopedia's General of Arms, however, says this threat is unprovoked and ridiculous.
The conflict apparently started yesterday (Aug 3rd), when the good people of Uncyclopedia created the Nonexistant Article. Although harmless and not of violent content, Wikipedia took it as a sign to start a Crusade against Uncyclopedia. Han Solo says:"A Nonexistant Article! How can it be, if it is nonexistant. If it didn't exist, it wouldn't. But it EXISTS. How could it exist/be. Nonexistant exists. This is madness. Am I the only one normal around here?".
Uncyclopedia's moles at Wikipedia say that the entire Wikipedia is at full alert, with it's employees carrying helmets and carrots ready to attack Uncyclopedia. Also, Wikipedia is gathering its hordes of Antlions, Onions and IT-developers (elite unit). They are all armed to the teeth with cucumbers and Windows XP Manuals. The main forces have set up a perimeter and their HQ around the corner of 54th Street. Major assaults have already taken place, as an elite IT unit raided a nearby McDonalds this morning at 00:17.
Other Wiki sites have mostly remained neutral. 60% of the Wiki sites say they wait to see how Uncyclopedia acts and then form their allegiances. Though Wikipedia will likely get more allies, Wookieepedia, a Star Wars Wiki, has surprisingly declared a war against Wikipedia and says it will do anything to help out Uncyclopedia. Wookieepedia has already shown its power. Just after Wikipedia raided and looted 56th Street's McDonalds, Wookieepedia launched a counterattack and 30 Wookies stormed the barricades. Though yet unsuccessful, Wookieepedia has put a temporary stop to Wikipedias terror and has bought time for Uncyclopedia. 12 Wookies were injured in the assault, 3 of them severely. Wikipedia has not yet released it's losses.