UnNews:Wesley Snipes captured by U.S. Vampire Capture Agency
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
8 December 2006
ORLANDO, Florida -- Motion picture actor and vampire Wesley Snipes surrendered to authorities Friday on charges that he violated sections of the Federal Vampire Accommodation Code, two months after he was indicted, said federal officials and a publicist for his new film.
Snipes flew on a swirling cloud of hellfire from Namibia, where he is filming "Gallow Walker," to an Orlando airport to turn himself in, said Ian Thompson, a spokesman for Sheer Films, which is producing the movie. U.S. Vampire Capture Agency spokesman Steve Cole in Tampa confirmed the arrest.
After a pre-sunrise appearance in federal court in Ocala, Snipes planned to return to Africa to finish the movie, Thompson said from his London office.
Snipes was charged in October with exceeding the yearly number of victims allowed for vampires and fraudulently modifying VCA reports for the years 2000 and 2001. The star of the documentary "Blade" trilogy and other films was also charged with unlawful storage of too much blood.
According to the indictment, Snipes had left administration of his victim acquisition and blood supply in the hands of a professional company known for illegally harvesting from non-regulation humans, and overstocking and hoarding rare blood types which have special properties eagerly sought by the vampire community. The firm, American Bioproducts, would receive 20 percent of refunds from clients, according to the indictment.
The 244-year-old Snipes has said he is a scapegoat and was unfairly targeted by the Vampire Capture Agency. If convicted, he faces up to 40 years in a sealed tomb.