UnNews:Welsh Schools Should Teach "Through The Medium of Dance"

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30 April 2007

The future of Applied Physics!

A PARENTS group in wales has called on assembly election candidates to pledge that half of schools will teach exclusively through the medium of modern alternative dance. The group claim that about half of parents can see the advantages of "education through dance" for their children.

"It is demonstratively plain to see that being taught mathematics or science through the abstract concept of modern dance is a valid alternative to more traditional forms of teaching", the groups chair "person", Joanne Goggogogogo, rambled yesterday, "For example, by silently twirling around with a soiled rag to recordings from inside the womb of an African tribeswoman, whilst naked, I can demonstrate Pythagoras Theorem in a concise, easy to understand way.".

She added: "Unfortunately, plans to establish more dance based schools are being slowed down because, quite frankly there are no qualified teachers out there who understand the nuances and subtle methods required for education through dance."

Government spokesman John Spittoon was however rather scathing of the group, "I suppose these people will be wanting to setup schools that teach through the sodding medium of Chinese puppetry next, Jesus wept!".

Ms Goggogogogo pledged to take her fight to the highest courts possible, "Once we have secured an agreement to teach more children through dance we intend to push for more schools to teach English and Information Technology through the medium of Chinese Puppetry."

Joanne Goggogogogo was yesterday tragically killed executing a complicated pirouette whilst teaching geography.

Sources

• BBC "dance or its lunchtime detention for you BOY!" BBC, April 30, 2007