UnNews:Unabomber lands big Armani modeling contract

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

30 November 2006

Ted Kaczynski captures "essense of individualism" says Armani.

SEATTLE - Ted "Unabomber" Kaczynski inked a multi-year contract Thursday with Giorgio Armani S.p.A. as their new top men's fashion model. The company's press release said Kaczynski's "essense of individualism," and "vision in action" perfectly captures the image the manufacturer hopes to associate with its new line.

While Kaczynski is serving a life sentence without the possibility of parole in the Federal ADX Supermax prison in Florence, Colorado, Federal Court Judge Martin Lobellis has agreed to allow Armani designers and photographers complete access to Kaczynski for their latest campaign.

Federal law prohibits inmates from materially benefitting from their crimes, but since the Armani contract arguably has nothing to do with his mail bombing campaigns of the 1970s through the 1990s, it was determined that there was no conflict with the law in this case.

Armani press relations representative, Dino Mansciotti said, "Theodore has a wonderful, rugged look and intensity that is often lost in news photos. Prison life has also given him a trim physique for a older gentleman, which works well with the Armani image of success and virility."

Through a prison spokesperson, Kaczynsky said he was, "pleased to be associated with the Armani line, and has always been a huge fan of the style."

Kaczynsky layouts are expected to appear early next year in such publications as GQ, Men's Vogue, Maxim, and other men's fashion magazines, along with billboards and television.