UnNews:Tiger gives birth to Weaner pigs
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12 November 2006
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PALO TENOR, California -- Today in California, adulterous animals overwhelmed with hormones create the first ever "Piegers" (Pig Tigers). Not to be confused with the liger, a litter of tiger striped Weaner pigs erupted from the vagina of a beautiful female tiger. The mother itself has, according to zoo keeper Adam Thomas, had many adulterous sexual encounters of pure intercourse with animals of different species. Researchers are looking for the male pig that inseminated the young female tiger.
So, what does a Pieger look like? Piegers have pink fuzzy faces but their torso and underside is the fur of a tiger. As you land near the bum, the Piegers coat shifts back to being pink. We do not know the extension of how these coat patterns will exist in the future and wear to the hands of mother nature. Hopefully these young bundles of joy will be able to survive as many cross-bred species have seized to.
In Eastern Asia, Céline Dion debates on the ethics behind the inter-species breeding. Due to constant ramblings of it's relation to the Incompleteness Theorem, its colleagues coaxed it into believing that the baby Piegers were just pigs wrapped in cheap black market tiger fur skinned off tigers from Malawi. It is definite that these Piegers are in fact half tiger, half Weaner pig. Though, DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE tell Céline Dion this.
Currently in Northern Asia, secret agents of the Yakuza have been alerted of such rare pets and have have supposedly tried to offer money to California Zoo keepers, and in some cases threatened their lives for the chance to get a glimpse of the Piegers. It unknown to us why the Yakuza has such a keen interest into possessing one or more Piegers.
For more information:[edit | edit source]
1-800-PIE-GERS This may or may not be a free 1-800 number dependent of your location on the ethos. 24-hour service representatives waiting patiently in padded seats funded by the Yakuza.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Céline Dion "Animal Ethics Committee" PETA, September 09, 2006