UnNews:Target bans guns in stores after confusion
Wednesday, July 2, 2014
High-quality American superstore Target has banned customers from bringing guns into its store, after a number of dangerous incidents in which customers have randomly fired on the store's logo.
"We can't work it out," one insider told us, "These people are satisfied Target customers, but they open fire in our store. Then when we wrestle them to the ground, they ask what the problem is.
"Some of us are worried it's the logo - that its red circles are somehow hypnotizing our customers, and making them act like zombies, or Walmart customers."
The final straw was when a group of customers gathered outside a store in Texas and shot rifles at the store's huge brand new sign outside. "We literally just put the sign up - one of our new 100ft Target logos - and the last thing we wanted was for a bunch of gun enthusiasts to use it as, a you know, a shooting practice thing."
The crackdown has met with a mixed welcome in the South, where gun-strokin' remains a popular pasttime. Target spokesperson Dana Rogers duly made the cagiest announcement possible: "We respectfully request that guests not bring firearms to Target - even in communities where not having a gun on you is a possible sign you ain't right.
"But bringing firearms to Target creates an environment that is at odds with the non-bullety shopping and work experience we strive to create.
"We hope that from now on Americans stop associating the word 'shooting' with the word 'Target'."
See also[edit | edit source]
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Leverage, "Target bans guns from its stores after demonstration" BBC, October 22 2023