UnNews:South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol accidentally declares martial law while ordering pizza

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Tuesday, December 3, 2024

"Wait, if that wasn't the "order pizza" button, then what was?? Good thing we don't have a nuclear launch button like the guy up North.."

SEOUL — South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol was ordering a pizza at around 10 p.m. last night, unaware that he was unmuted in his Discord call with his defense minister, Kim Yong-hyun.

For some reason, the President was ordering a pizza in English, and was having trouble communicating the order to the pizza place. Kim Yong-hyun, who was playing League of Legends at the time, allegedly overheard the President yelling what sounded like "MARTIAL LAW! MARTIAL LAW!" The President later clarified that he was actually saying "MUSHROOM LOTS! MUSHROOMS! LOTS!" to communicate that he wanted lots of mushrooms on his pizza.

Kim Yong-hyun, assuming that Yoon Suk Yeol wasn't brave enough to actually declare martial law himself, did something that only best friends would do for each other.

He immediately retrieved the costume of the President that he was saving for this very moment from his closet, hopped on some random news channel that nobody even watches and announced that martial law was going into effect. Since this was probably the only time he'd ever get to do something like this, he also thought it would be funny to start rambling about Jerry Seinfeld's The Bee Movie. Unfortunately, that latter part went widely unreported, probably because nobody cared enough about The Bee Movie to waste any of their brain power listening to what some guy has to say about it.

Nobody else we at UnNews interviewed understood what we were talking about when we spoke about their President accidentally declaring martial law while trying to order a pizza - suggesting that the people are already being deluded into the scheme concocted by the President and his defense minister to make it seem like they really do know what they were doing, and they wouldn't let a mistake like this occur over a single pizza order.

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