UnNews:Planet Google unveiled; Uncyclopedia's Mars base nowhere to be found

Before, Uncyclopedia's Mars base before takeover by Google, and After, after Planet Google's rebranding.

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

20 March 2006

Google, inc. has launched Planet Google amidst wide-spread controversy over the apparent removal of Uncyclopedia's Mars base from the newly-rebranded planet.

Media attention about Planet Google venture started on March 10th, 2006, when Mars disappeared from orbit, replaced only by a piece of paper reading: "{{wip}} --Google". Several days later, Planet Google was launched. (See Planet Google article for details)

However, according to reliable sources, it appears there may be more to this move than meets the eye: Uncyclopedia's Mars base, a long time home to the Martian Contributors to Uncyclopedia, is completely missing from the newly rebranded planet.

Satellite images of the surface of the planet revealed the discrepancy only a few hours ago, though it is hard to tell at this point if the satellite images have been doctored, the base has really gone, or if the satellite's camera has a weighting system that heavily favours empty space over Uncyclopedia.

Contact with the Mars base has yet to be established, though the martian Uncyclopedians are well known for being whacked on kittens the whole time, and being too lazy to answer the phone.

Reactions

The Uncyclopedian community is typically apathatic about the whole situation. One went as far as to say,

“I never really liked that crappy base, I put it up for VFD but nobody cared then, and I guess nobody cares now.”

~ Uncyclopedians on the Planet Google controversy

“Good Riddance! Now I can live in peace!”

~ Oscar Wilde on that damn Uncyclopedia Mars base

“No Comment.”

~ Steve Ballmer on anything

Though questioned several times about their motives for banning Uncyclopedia from Planet Google, Google themselves have not said anything about the situation, as the lengthy and complicated procedure for contacting Google for these matters is too difficult for the average Uncyclopedian to follow.

Theories

Several theories have emerged to explain Google's campaign of Censorship against Uncyclopedia. Some of the more notable ones are -

• Google is jealous of uncyclopedia
• Uncyclopedia slept with Google's Mom
• There never was a Mars base, we were just high on kitten
• Google's goal of collecting an infinite amount of information clashes with Uncyclopedia's goal of collecting an infinite amount of mis-information.
• The base was blanked by vandals
• The base was stealthily put up for QVFD, without anyone noticing.
• Google and Wikipedia, sit'n in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.

More on the situation as it unfolds

19 July 2031

We have discovered the reason why the Uncyclopedia Mars Base is Ded!

Google shot a fucking Googlebomb at our base and blew it up, so damn fuck you Google gogogagalabs.

We must stop Google from completing Google Planet or else Mars will no longer exist and we will never build that base.

This is everything we know Uncyclopedians. We don't know why Google destroyed our base, but we must revert Planet Google's construction and get Mars back... and our base too.

For the possible dangers of Planet Google, check the page Planet Google consequences.