UnNews:Phone stops ringing

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13 December 2006

WARNING!!! This article contains Misinformation, about which the audio reader knows nothing. Neither does the audio reader care. The audio reader is just here to do his/her fucking job, for the love of Mother Mary and Joseph! The audio reader does not understand this article, and therefore, does not care what the hell this article is about. Can the audio reader possibly make it any more clear? If so, kindly leave off.

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Telephones are a vital part of modern society. I heard they don't have them in Africa.

PORTSMOUTH, New Hampshire -- Porthsmouth resident Ocean Papadopoulos expressed his outrage today, as his telephone stopped ringing seconds before he picked up the receiver. "You. Fucking. Cocksucker!" screamed Papadopoulos, punctuating each word with a slam of the phone on the table, "Why!?"

The telephone, according to a report published by Papadopoulos this morning, had been ringing 'for at least a minute' before he attempted to answer it. "It had rung about 20, maybe 25 times before I got to it," said Papodapoulos, "as I was running to the phone, I thought, 'if they've held on for this long, they'll hang on until I pick up'. I guess I was wrong."

According to Papadopoulos' report, he was in the shower when the phone began to ring. Papadopoulos then rushed out of the shower, soaking wet, wrapped himself in a towel and rushed down the flight of stairs towards the phone. In the rush, however, Papadopoulos fell, tumbling down the staircase before coming to a tangled, wet, and naked stop at the bottom. Dazed, Papadopoulos rushed to the phone, only to have it stop ringing as his hand touched the receiver.

"The dreaded dial tone sounded out into my head, like a horrible drone of disappointment." said Papadopoulos, "I was really bummed out".

Sources

• Ocean Papadopoulos "You fucking cocksucker!" www.livejournal.com, December 12, 2006