UnNews:Pamela Anderson a horrid old skank

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2 October 2007

Give Grandma a kiss.

LAS VEGAS, Nevada - The tomb might not be far off for Pamela Anderson. The former 'Baywatch' star and Rick Salomon applied for — and were granted — a joint burial license late Saturday in Las Vegas, according to the Clark County's Coroner's Office. The license means the couple can be buried any time during the next year.

Anderson, 40 but looking about 103, who has been previously married to singer Kid Rock and huge-wienered Motley Crue drummer Tommy Lee, is expected to make a smooth transition from living to death. "I'm looking forward to it," said Anderson. "I've been taking classes, and practicing, and I think I already have the smell down."

Salomon, 38, is best-known for making a his own sex videotape with his then-girlfriend and future skank Paris Hilton and was previously married to actress Shannen Doherty. Scientists are currently examining Salomon's penis to see if it has special skank-attracting hormones (known as skankomones) that may help predict and possibly prevent skankiness in young women.

Anderson's publicist, Cindy Guagenti, did not immediately return a call for comment Sunday, because she was not at work.

Earlier this month, Anderson appeared on The Ellen DeGeneres Show and said that she was dating a "mystery man" who was a professional mortician, but would not give any further details. Details of Anderson's demise are expected to be announced soon.

Sources

• David Miscavige "Women whom you don't want your Momma to meet" CoS Smeg, October 1, 2007