UnNews:Obama out of a job as US Gov't cuts Office of President
Washington, D.C. -- Recently-elected American President Barack Obama is out of a job today as the US government has eliminated the office of President amid budget cuts.
"Barack did a good job at his position." said Senate Budget Committee chair Kent Conrad, "However, times are tough, and the government needs to cut corners. The President's office was one of the many areas to be cut. Barack was one of our best employees, and we regret it had to end this way."
Besides the position of President, other departments cut by the federal government include The Office of Management and Budget, the Army Corps of Engineers, and the entire state of Montana.
News of Obama's lay-off quickly spread across the world. "Its a shame that Obama is no longer US president." said Al-Qaeda terrorist Osama bin Laden, "I really thought that when he wasn't busy, we could grab some Starbucks or hit up some indie book stores. Oh well." John McCain was also sought out for comment, but reporters soon found out he has been dead since 2006.
Obama is expected to clean out his desk late this afternoon. As a token of apology, the government has given Obama a complementary Chia pet and ten McDonald's Dollars as a farewell gift. The shape of the Chia-pet wasn't conformed, but it has been rumored to be a Scooby-Doo head. Obama has mentioned that he is going pick up applications at Target and Footlocker first thing tomorrow.
The lack of a US president also puts the future of the White House into question. On this topic, Conrad said that the White House will be the site of a 65 billion dollar congressional party next Friday, along with AIG executives, mountains of cocaine, and robot servers made out of 24 carat gold. Conrad described the upcoming party as "pimpin'." After the party, the White House will be burned down with gasoline, and each congressman or woman will get a chance to spit in its ashes. The site will then be the location of a new adult strip mall, Conrad explained.
As for the leadership vacuum, it is expected that the new head of the free world will be a three-person committee of Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi and a can of Spam.