UnNews:Obama adviser likens Clinton tactics to McCarthy, is promptly accused of Communism

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22 March 2008

AMERICA, USA -- A top foreign policy advisor to presidential candidate Barack Obama likened former president Bill Clinton's remarks that question Obama's patriotism to the tactics used by Joseph McCarthy.

"I was in college when McCarthy started accusing loyal Americans of being traitors," said retired four-star general Merrill McPeak, "And Clinton accusing Obama sounds an awful lot like the things that McCarthy used to say."

"They're only comparing my comments to McCarthyism because they're so much alike," explains Clinton defensively.

Joseph McCarthy was an infamous senator known for his extreme anti-Communist suspicion. During the Cold War, he accused over 4 billion Americans of being communists, even though there are less than 4 billion people living in the United States. He was known for his tendency of blaming anything bad that happened in America on Communism (including one incident when he stubbed his toe on a suitcase, and had the suitcase tried for treason). He finally stepped over the line when he accused Abraham Lincoln of being "A commie bastard through and through--we should dig him up and deport him!" After this comment, he was fired.

Now, Merrill McPeak has likened Bill Clinton's campaign tactics to those of McCarthy, and Clinton has responded immediately. "McPeak's accusations are 100% false," says Clinton, "And I frankly wouldn't be surprised if he was encouraged to make those statements by Communist subversives who have infiltrated the United States system! As a matter of fact, I have here in my hands"--the president held up a jelly doughnut at this point--"Clear evidence that Merrill McPeak is a card-carrying member of the Communist party! Not only is he a Communist, but he's a card carrying Communist!"

"I never used McCarthy-esque tactics against Obama," continued the former president, "All I said was that it would be awesome if the presidential race was between my wife and John McCain, because they both love America. They both love America, and neither of them despise it the way certain other candidates do. If I gave the impression that I was accusing Obama of being unpatriotic...that's probably good. Because I was. But don't criticize me for it, and don't compare me to Joe McCarthy. You commie bastards."

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