UnNews:Moro Islamic Liberation Front needs new acronym

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14 August 2006

Part of the standard-issue uniform for the Moro Islamic Liberation Front.

MINDANAO, Philippines, GNN (GOANNA NEWS NETWORK) -- Mortified leaders of the Moro Islamic Liberation Front, a militant separatist group seeking to establish an Islamic state in the southern Philippines, today admitted that they needed to think about getting a new acronym for their jihadist army.

MILF spiritual leader Sheikh Salamat Pagi said that while surfing the net for American pornography - solely as research for a sermon on the evils of the Great Satan, mind you - he became aware that his organisation's acronym also stands for "mothers I'd like to fuck".

"It is truly disgusting, but it just shows how decadent America - death be upon it - really is," he said.

"These so-called MILF women of America have damned themselves to everlasting torment by exposing their long, blonde, hair, their large, pendulous breasts and their shaven, dripping shame-holes to the world."

Sheikh Pagi said that he was considering several new names for his terrorist organisation, but was currently leaning towards TWINK (Total War Islamic Nation Karnage).

When asked for her reaction, Tiffany White, a spokeswoman for the California chapter of Mothers I'd Like to Fornicate With (which is not associatied with the Philippines MILFs), issued only this short statement: "Look, I can't really talk now because I have to get Timmy to soccer practice. TIMMY! GET IN THE CAR!"

Philippines Army spokesman Lieutenant-Colonel Rafael Gomez, however, said he believed that his country's MILF should stick with the name it has.

"It really suits them," he said. "This is one bunch of mothers I'd really like to fuck over."