UnNews:Lettuce becomes Prime Minister of the United Kingdom

Sunday, October 23, 2022

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

LONDON - After several weeks, a head of iceberg lettuce named Lizzy Lettuce won against her human counterpart, Liz Truss. A representative of the Daily Star Party, she won by a unanimous 45-0 vote. Recent polling suggests that 78.629159% of the UKs population approves of Lizzy Lettuce.

This comes after Truss decided to give up and call it quits forever after she realized the smell emitted by the iceberg lettuce was getting foul. When asked about the incident, she said that she "couldn't hold it longer after 10 days because it was so disgusting".

Over 100,000 viewers watched the livestream of the spectacle. When Truss said that she resigned, people in the comments rejoiced, with some saying "Lettuce for PM" and "Lettuce deserves this".

Lettuce was born from a farm in Oxford and was raised in a Tesco supermarket. Representatives from The Star have brought her in and decided to make her come alive with a pair of googly eyes, a cut-out mouth and a blond wig, with a tiara on top in honor of Lizzy the Twoth who bit the dust a month prior.

"Honestly, I'm not surprised. She was never meant to last that long," says Lettuce. "Even though I'm rotting, I was still able to make it."

Lettuce will become the first non-human Prime Minister in British history. She will be sworn in on 28 October. In the meantime, you can check out her victory speech on YouTube.

Sources

• "Lettuce rejoice: inside story of Daily Star iceberg’s triumph over Liz Truss" The Guardian, October 21, 2022