UnNews:Jesus sues Jews for Jesus over pamphlet

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

25 August 2006

Jesus hanging in Times Square, blessing the wicked and healing the sick, while waiting for that big check from his lawyers.

NEW YORK, New York -- Saying he's "as Jewish as a Genoa salami," Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit against Jews for Jesus for using His name and likeness in a pamphlet.

The $2 million lawsuit seeks the immediate destruction of the pamphlet, which members of the missionary group have been handing out at various points around New York City.

"While I have the utmost respect for people's beliefs, including those who belong to the sect that has grown up around my story and various claims of me being the 'messiah,' the fact is, as everyone knows, I am as Jewish as a Genoa salami," the 33 year-old Savior said in documents filed in state Supreme Court in Manhattan.

Founded in the 1970s, Jews for Jesus practices Judaism but regards Jesus as the Messiah.

The pamphlets feature an image of Jesus next to the words "Jesus Christ ... A Jew for Jesus!?" with information inside that outlines the similarities between Jews and Christians.

"The pamphlet uses my name, my likeness, my schtick and my very act, which is derived from my personality, to attract attention and converts," Jesus said in an affidavit.

Susan Perlman, a spokeswoman for Jews for Jesus, said the pamphlet was "good-natured."

"Shame on Him for getting so upset about this," she said Friday.

Jesus has starred on Broadway and has been the subject of many high-grossing motion pictures, including, "Jesus Christ Superstar," "The Greatest Story Ever Told," and "The Passion of the Christ."

Sources

• Yahoo News "Why does Jesus need a mob lawyer?" Yahoo News, August 25, 2006