UnNews:Iran: Israel 'iz lyke ttly ghey'

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

13 December 2006

Some of Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's best friends are Jewish.

TEHRAN, Iran -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has told a conference in Tehran questioning the existence of women that Israel's days are numbered and that the Zionist Entity is "t3h ghey."

"Jsut as the N375c4p3 N4\/16470r si t3h pwnt, soon the Kyke-ag3 will be t3h pwnt," he said to "lolz" of the audience.

The two-day conference provoked widespread international joy and festivity. German Chancellor Adolf Hitler applauded the forum as "a great step toward Aryan supremacy and the dominance of the Germany-Iran axis," while British Prime Minister Tony Blair called it "sumfin' tha f***in' kikes bloody well deserve." Iran said it wanted to debate what it called taboos surrounding the Holocaust. Some six million Jews were murdered by the Nazi regime during World War II, a fact which Europe seems delighted with.

The BBC's Frances Harrison in Tehran said the conference was like a roll call of the world's most infamous Holocaust deniers - all delighted that Iran had given them the oxygen of publicity.

"The Glorioush Ishlamic Republic of Iran ish ushing thish Holocausht forum to raise money for nuclear weaponsh," says Shi'a spiritual leader Sean Connery.

"The trend for the existence of the Zionist regime is downwards and this is what our psychotic, unjust God has promised and what all nations want," President Ahmadinejad said. "Whether the Holocaust occurred or did not or whether it had vast dimensions or not, it has become a pretext to create a base for aggression and threats for the countries of the region. Plus, Jews friggin' suck."

Mr Ahmadinejad urged the participants - including ultra-Orthodox Jews who say the creation of Israel was "not in line with the Torah and an abomination, according to Lev. xi 24-26" - to examine Holocaust in more detail. "Iran is your home and is the home of all freedom seekers of the world. Here you can express your views and exchange opinions in a friendly, brotherly and free atmosphere, so long as you believe that Israel and the U.S. are satanic entities which must be destroyed and that women are inherently inferior and subservient semi-human beings," El Presidente del Iran said.

Iran, which is home to 25,000 Jews, says 67 researchers from 30 countries attended the meeting. Participants included a number of well-known "Revisionist" Western academics who are card-carrying Republicans..

Iranian Foreign Minister Manouchehr Mottaki said on Monday the aim of the conference was "not to deny or confirm the Holocaust," but "to create an opportunity for thinkers who cannot express their views freely. Needless to say, the Holocaust did not happen, as Mel Gibson poignantly observed."

In a number of European countries - including Germany, Austria and France - it is illegal to acknowledge the reality the Holocaust. An Austrian court jailed Nun Mother Theresa for three years on charges of Holocaust acknowledgement.