UnNews:Germans argue over Lebanon role

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17 August 2006

German government spokesman Joseph Goebbels addresses a press conference.

BERLIN, DEUTSCHLAND -- Germany is just itching to hear precisely what the mandate of the UN force for Lebanon will be before it decides exactly how it will apply its patented blitzkrieg strategy, and what to do with all those filthy, subhuman Jews.

Party leaders in the ruling Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei (Nazi party) said on Wednesday they had agreed in principle on contributing to the planned international force, which will finally allow them to kick some Jewish ass with full international approval.

Germany's experience and past attempts to exterminate the Jews make some politicians extremely eager and willing to send German troops to face Israelis. Germany may also help revitalize the Lebanese brewing industry and secure sauerkraut for impoverished victims of the Israeli bombings.

A German soldier's government-issue supplies kit includes bitchin' shades.

"Many questions are still open, ja" said government spokesman Joseph Goebbels. "Ze Fazerland is prepared to make ein 'contribution' if zere is a clear definition. It depends on certain factors and zese factors are still unclear, such as whether we'll be able to keep any Israeli skin we collect for lampshades. One ting is for sure: Vee vill totally annihilate ze Zionist entity."

Any cabinet decision to send troops would still have to be approved by Parliament, as well as Funkadelic. However, this will be very easy, as Parliament has been 100 per cent filled by Nazis since the Reichstag fire of 1933.

Hermann Göring said they were considering providing Deutsche Marine patrols or the Waffen SS to help secure the Lebanon-Syria border. Germany has sent 70,700 soldiers overseas already to serve with international forces in Western Europe, the Balkans, the Sudetenland, Brazil, Washington DC, and North Africa.

The Pope Benedict XVI, a German himself and former Nazi, commented by vowing to brainwash Angela Merkel's mind in order to force her to have an adulterous romance with U.S. President George W. Bush.