UnNews:First Person Dies from Funny Overload Since the 80’s
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
22 July 2007
Tulsa, Oklahoma, A man sitting on his toilet in a suburb of Tulsa, Oklahoma was presumably having a good time reading, when suddenly his girlfriend came in and shocked him with a taser. The man then laughed hysterically at his girlfriend when apparently the semi-lethal device had no effect on him. While laughing, the man fell into his toilet and started to get shocks from the conduciveness of the water.
The official cause of death, though, wasn’t electrocution. After the man was cooked for "’bout 3 seconds", he got out of his toilet, very much alive, and started to laugh once more at his soon to be ex. The girlfriend, standing and traumatized that her plot wasn't going as planed, was being laughed at as if "I were a stupid blonde". The man continued to laugh brutally for "’bout 5 minutes" and began to "Foam at the mouth and started to twitch like he’sa overloading on crack or something."
The official cause of death was, however was a case of "Maximum Funny Overload". The other kind called "Minimum Funny Overload" is the non-lethal form of the funny attack.
Known to the public as a "Funny Overload", (also known as the "funnies"), a death such as this hasn’t occurred in the US since the 80’s, when a political opponent of Jimmy Carter working for the Reagan campaign died after he notice that Carter had no chance of winning. When the polls showed a steep margin of people voting for Reagan, the man began to have a victory laugh against the T.V screen, showing Carter’s hopes of winning slim. The man took Reagan’s victory so hard, that he laughed uncontrollably, and collapsed in the television screening room from a funny overload.
The girlfriend of the now deceased man will be charged with 2nd degree murder charges, for attempted murder with a lethal weapon. The lawyer in her case claims that she had no real role in the murder, since the man technically killed himself; all she did was provoke him.
According to the women, "I was just trying to killed my present boyfriend because he was having an affair with my husband behind my back, I felt jealous, you know. I got away with the other 4 murders, doesn’t make me less of a bad person to get caught with this one."
Funny overloads rarely happen in modern times because funniness has gone down in significance since the 70’s. This is good, in that, people are not dying or close to dying from these funny attacks. This is bad in a way because humour and comedy have suffered, along with the public, from not seeing events that could literally make themselves die.
The bond to release the woman was set at $100,000, and she was then placed into her jail cell in the Women’s Correctional Center, Tulsa. The judge citied that “She was threatening to cross the boarder to get her "associates" in order to "take down the judicial system and go Rambo on your asses!" … so from this, she showed signs of a flight risk".
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Carlo K. Si "Man dies from funny overload, people laugh" Yahoo, July 21, 2007