UnNews:Film with only one frame wins Brendan Fraser an Oscar

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3 April 2023

Entire Whale movie in sparkling HQ; note the lack of any whales. Or wails or even Wales for that matter.

Star of George of the Jungle and The Mummy Brendan Fraser has, out of the blue, been bestowed with 2023's Academy Award for Best Actor, for his portrayal of Charlie - a "solitary (quite very much so), morbidly obese homosexual English teacher" - in Darren Aronofsky's The Whale, a film, the first of its kind, to consist of but one, singular frame - an image of said Charlie led down on an ambiguous variety of seat in front of his deteriorating kitchen whilst gurning unconventionally - that going on for a length of one hour and fifty-seven minutes, and against complete tranquillity.

An AI-generated image masquerading as the film's supposed "second frame".

"Well, you see, this specific frame's image resolution was so high our computers' drives had no room for anything else", stated film director Darren Aronofsky in an interview. "We had no choice but to make do with what we had; the deadline of September 4th at Venice was approaching before our very eyes", he further elaborated.

Brendan Fraser's inhuman ability to remain completely stationary for such a length of time without twitching, murmuring, or inhaling (assuming the film was shot in one long take as is uncharacteristic of cinema) has been hailed by critics as the first truly rightfully earned ever Oscar-winning performance in the modern age of cinematography. Critics have compared Fraser's performance to that of a sperm whale taking into account the amount of time Fraser can cease breathing altogether, and appropriately so hence the movie, or stillie, should it be called given the film's lack of any movement's name "The Whale".

The critical and financial success of The Whale has inspired Aronofsky to greenlight a sequel, expected to be titled The Whale 2: 2 Frames; the title says it all.