UnNews:Facebook hates big butts, cannot lie, removes innocent photo

This editorial is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-moron misinformation. You can bloody well piss off if you don't like it!

THE MANAGEMENT

12 July 2014

By Sir Mix-A-Lot
Rapper, butt enthusiast
Phone: 1-900-MIXALOT

What up, yo? Y'all remember Coppertone, right? The cute little girl in her bathing suit, and the dog pulls down her bikini bottom?

Cute, innocent, harmless, and legal, right? Not so, says ~~Farcebook~~ Facebook. The social networking fascists ordered a North Carolina mom to remove a photo of her 2-year-old daughter getting the Coppertone treatment, claiming it violates their policy on pornography and nudity.

Now, I like big butts* (*of people who have been of legal age for at least a month) (and I cannot lie) as much as the next person, but come on, man! There is nothing sexual or suggestive in the "controversial" photo. You don't see a yellow smiley face over my bare ass when I take a shower! [TMI - Ed.] Hello, no! My black rump is out in the open like Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music.

THE HIIIIILLLLS ARE ALIIIIIIIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUUUSIIIIIIIC!!!!

Come on, man! It was acceptable back in 1953, but it ain't acceptable now, with the pedophiles and perverts and whatnot? Why has the world become so PC since 9/11? Bring it back to the 90s, man. Back when the only thing people feared were Barney, the Power Rangers, the Spice Girls, and the Macarena. Back when it was okay for the President to get some back.

Nowadays, everybody's too serious and easily offended. What happened, man? What else y'all gonna censor?

Michelangelo's David?