UnNews:Empire takes shape: United Kingdom of Eurotannia

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

28 December 2009

As The Times reported earlier we face the fall of the good old Pound below the Euro now. In the morning of Dec. 28th 2009 her Majesty Queen Elizabeth consulted her Prime Minister Gordon Brown in Downing Street 10 to ratify a declaration that had been prepared in secret negotiations by the European Commission and the Attorney General in the Royal Train in the Chunnel, in proceedings which recently caused some inconvenience for many "Eurostar" express train travelers for their trains got stuck in the tunnel below the Channel until the politicians had negotiated their agreement. At noon of Dec. 28th 2009 the Queen had a call with European Imperial President Herman Van Rompuy. She promised to divorce her husband Prince Philip and suggested the 1st of May 2010 as date of her marriage with Van Rompuy.

"The Empire is dead. Long live the Empire!" was her toast to the coming European Emperor Herman I. of the United Kingdom of Eurotannia.

Originally Van Rompuy had planned to build a "Coronation Cathedral" in Brussels first, but his natural instinct for power led him to the decision to agree with the Queen's plans. Thus the marriage will be at Westminster Abbey and the coronation in Notre Dame de Paris. The national anthem of the new Empire will be "Eurotannia" of Thomas Arne. Today it will be sung the first time by the Houses of Parliament in London and Strasbourg. Long live the Empire!

Prince Philip decided to keep cool and ordered a one-way ticket for a passage to New York with the ocean liner Queen Elizabeth. From there he'll travel further to California where he wants to succeed Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor.

Angela Merkel congratulated the coming "Queen and King of Europe" in a telephone conference. Van Rompuy corrected her: " ... of Eurotannia. Please accustom yourself to the new name of our new proud Empire." Queen Elizabeth offered a unique opportunity to the German Chancellorette: "Mrs. Merkel, won't You please offer us your German 'fat hen' as heraldic bird?". Merkel hesitated and finally answered: "I'm sorry, Your Royal Highness, the 'fat hen' was the eagle on the German Mark, too Germanic for most of Your European, pardon, Eurotannian subservients. I suggest another popular bird from Germany, the tiger duck.". "Oh yes, indeed, that will be a good symbol for our nation.".