UnNews:D.C. in chaos as Barack Obama buys donuts from local Dunkin Donuts
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
14 February 2008
Washington D.C., USA--In a genius, unexpected campaign move, Barack Obama swept into D.C. yesterday before the Potomac Primary, and bought some donuts.
"The city really went wild," campaign manager, Jesus Christ, told UnNews.
Indeed, thousands gathered as Obama stepped out of his limo, waving banners and screaming their support. Looking slightly disturbed, covering his children's ears to prevent them from going deaf, the young Illinois Senator tried to rouse the crowd.
"Please," he bellowed. "I'm just buying some donuts. That's ALL. Seriously, don't you people have something better to do?"
The crowd roared their approval.
Analysts have predicted that this move will drastically lower Hillary Clinton's viability. "You don't see the Clintons making genius moves like these," Larry King commented on his nightly television program.
The Clinton campaign responded with stunning speed, but their efficacy is in question.
"Senator Obama purchased munchkins rather than normal, middle-class donuts," they pointed out.
We caught up with Obama at the Dunkin' Donuts, but he screamed loudly and refused to comment.