UnNews:Cricket has cunt amnesty
Sunday, July 6, 2014
The genteel sport of cricket has held a successful "cunt amnesty", in which everyone involved with the sport has been granted the opportunity to refer to each other as "cunts".
Calls for the amnesty began in 2012, when South African-born Englishman Kevin Pietersen referred to South African-born Englishman Andrew Strauss as a doos, the Afrikaans equivalent of the c-word,[1] in a text to England's opponents, which were, er, South Africa.
Yesterday, Strauss began the cunt amnesty live on television, by referring to Pietersen as "an absolute cunt". With him in the commentary booth was Ian Botham, who called Ian Chappell "a massive cunt", and David Lloyd, who, in his Lancastrian tones, described Geoffrey Boycott as "a total right coont".
Current England captain Alistair Cook hastily arranged a press conference so he could call Shane Warne "a convict cunt". The normally taciturn Cook clearly warmed to the task, glancing around at the broadsheet journalists before adding, "Actually, you're all cunts."
In New Zealand, Lou Vincent, the batsman who recently confessed to fixing matches, organised a special event in Auckland, where a capacity crowd could gather and collectively call him a cunt.
And not to be outdone, in Asia, Indian and Pakistani players faced off and fired expletives in various languages and dialects, punctuated with the unmistakably Anglo-Saxon "cunt".
Piers Morgan, a vocal supporter of Pietersen, was called a "cunt" so many times on Twitter that the site crashed.
Short square legnotes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ Doos literally means box. In English, the worst thing you can compare someone to is a vagina, in Afrikaans, it is a box. There might be some sociolinguistic theory to extrapolate from that, but I will let some other clever box work it out.
Sources[edit | edit source]
- Leverage, "Andrew Strauss apologises for swearing about Kevin Pietersen during television broadcast" Fox Sports, January 14 2024
