UnNews:Clooney marries ugly bitch
Friday, October 3, 2014
Hollywood heartthrob and perennial bachelor George Clooney has disappointed women the world over - not only by getting married, but also by insisting on wedding a "swamp donkey".
Clooney married Hilda MacPherson - an unemployed single mother from Idaho - in a lavish ceremony in Venice, Italy, sponsored by Nespresso.
The pair met at a Target store 2 years ago, when Clooney's Ferrari broke down. They hit it off immediately, with Clooney said to be charmed by MacPherson's down-to-earth manner and insistence on wearing headbands and sweat pants, regardless of the occasion (See right).
Joanna Corey, president of the George Clooney Fan Club, resigned over the matter. "We have all cherished the fantasy that maybe one day George would walk into our lives, marry us, and repeatedly make love to us every day for the rest of our days. I don't resent Hilda as such - but I do regret the fact that, of all of us, he went for a total swamp donkey."
However, others have hailed Clooney's choice as being a breath of fresh air. Psychologist Tara Maynard, something of a pig-dog herself, told UnNews, "Most movie stars get married to other celebrities, or perhaps high-ranking people in well-to-do professions. I think it's fantastic that George has opted to bind himself in matrimony to such a gross specimen, instead of say, running off with some hot, exotic lawyer."
