UnNews:Christof, infamous American TV producer, dies aged 74

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Christof, infamous American TV producer, dies aged 74

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PARIS, FRANCE -- What's goin' on?

Some American guy just died, they're doing a parody about it on UnNews.

OMG, that's awful. But I guess since he just died, he doesn't really care.

Was it coronavirus?

They only said it was something with the lungs.

Oh, man. This guy was mysterious all his life, right?

Well, not really. You remember he adopted a baby and made a reality TV show about him?

Oh yeah, I remember that Nazi dude. This is him? Wasn't he sentenced for life or some merde?

Yes, in a Parisian jail. He just died in his cell. He was 74.

OK, let's just read this thing.

NEW HAVEN, AMERICA -- Christof, creator of infamous TV-catastrophe The Truman Show, has died in his French prison cell, aged 74. Since the cancellation of the show, Christof has been sentenced for life, and shared his cell for the past 25 years with Paris Hilton. While in prison, Christof has become a well-known French singer, much like what happened to Roman Polanski after what he did at Jack Nicholson's house.

Many American celebrities had to express their happiness about the death of Christof, the most hated American since John Wilkes Booth:

“Hey yo, man. That is not cool. This is like the National Singer of France, or something. And he might have died from this corona shit. You shouldn't laugh about that. Imagine something fucking happened to me! You wouldn't write this shit about ME, right bitch? You know I would come back from Gal Gadot's fucking planet and fuck you up, right? So take that shit back right now, man. I ain't kiddin'.”

Truman Burbank, who has since changed his name to Alain Barrière, has also become a musician since the cancellation of TTS. In the following 25 years, Alain has become the first ever representative of the United States at the Eurovision Song Contest. Alain commented on Christof's death very shortly, saying only that "he was a great musician but he really sucked at doing television. I hope LL is gettin' this".

PARIS, FRANCE -- Merde, stars are blind.

You are correct! Stars are totally blind. Let's read somethin' else. Here, there's the TV guide.