UnNews:Cameron: Let's all move to Spain
Tuesday, April 14, 2015
British Prime Minister David Cameron has sparked surprise by announcing in the lead-up to the general election that the entire country should move to Spain.
"The weather is fantastic, the wine is cheap and cheerful, and you can get a villa near the beach for about £60,000," explained the chinless wonder. "A friend of mine lives in Marbella. He told me that the only thing wrong is that you can't get a decent job there - but then I thought, I might have the answer to that problem."
Cameron has already approached key players in the services and financial services sectors, which together make up the vast majority of the UK economy, and said: "Many of them were skeptical at first, but I simply explained we could move their whole operations 1000 miles south.
"If that didn't convince them, the slightest mention of 'sexy señoritas' did the trick."
Supporters have pointed out the potential benefits of moving the population to Spain, such as a reduction in coughs and colds, the ability to actually play cricket during the summer, and that Britons could save hundreds of pounds a year on flights to Spain, what with them being there already and everything.
However, owners of tanning salons and manufacturers of balaclavas have expressed their concern at the proposal.
Some ordinary citizens have also voiced objections. Streatham-based Chav grandmother of 4, Joanna Corey, aged 41, told UnNews: "I remember going to the Costa del Sol during my honeymoon. I know it was 25 years ago, and things might have changed, but you couldn't get a decent cup of tea there for love nor money."
Cameron himself was asked about the possible communication problems that 60 million British people moving to Spain could lead to, but replied confidently: "I don't foresee any problem at all. I am sure with a bit of hard work, we can soon get the Spaniards' English up to scratch."
Meanwhile, Cameron's main rival Ed Miliband has responded with a rather distinct statement, stating: "I have been tested and I am ready to leave Britain."
Sources[edit | edit source]
- "David Cameron: Conservatives offering 'a good life' for all", BBC, April 14, 2015
- Leverage, "Ed Miliband: I have been tested and I am ready to lead Britain" Telegraph, April 14, 2015
