UnNews:Bash-bash make brain bad, admits NFL

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Tragically, until the 1950s, many commercials suggested football could make the brain, "smoother, more sophisticated, and irresistible to the ladies."

Jeff Miller, the NFL's senior vice president for health and safety and a former linebacker, has become the first senior league official to acknowledge a link between football and brain disease, saying: "Bash-bash no good for brain. Make brain bad."

Miller, who illustrated his point with several crude drawings of what appeared to be human brains, then attempted to start another sentence several times, before aborting the press conference.

The NFL Players Association welcomed Miller's words, saying: "Big day. Long time come. My head bad. Everyone head bad."

However, for the game's fans, the announcement has provoked mixed emotions. Analyst Joanna Corey explained to UnNews: "Football fans are torn. On the one hand there are the inevitable feelings of guilt that come with knowing that 50-year-old former players are forgetting their social security numbers or their wife's first name.

"On the other hand, we really, really don't want to watch soccer."

See also

• UnNews:Link found between watching Super Bowl and concussion

Sources

• Leverage, "NFL acknowledges, for first time, link between football, brain disease" ESPN, March 15, 2016