UnNews:Barry Gibb Destroys Louvre Pyramid

This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation.

25 March 2008

PARIS, France – Authorities are cleaning up today after the famous glass pyramid in the courtyard of the Louvre was shattered during a nostalgic performance of “How Deep Is Your Love” by Barry Gibb. At least one is reported dead, and dozens were injured. Photos and video were confiscated by authorities for review of the incident.

During a protracted high note, several in the audience noticed the glass starting to crack and it was confirmed when they heard the I. M. Pei designed addition begin to give way. “I just knew it was completely finished at that point”, offered one unidentified onlooker. Asked how she knew the glass pyramid would collapse, the 72-year old concert-goer replied, “What? Oh, no, I meant his career.”

Many questions surround the incident, mainly why anyone would allow Gibb to perform in such dangerous proximity to so much glass. “I don’t get it”, sighed Jacques Coutré, an American-born, French post-graduate student at the Sorbonne and a docent at the museum attending the performance. “Does no one remember the Champagne incident?”

The incident Coutré refers to is one in May of last year, where Gibb made an earlier attempt to revive his career at a charity event. During a protracted high note at that performance of his then newly released single, “Drown On The River”, patrons’ champagne glasses shattered in their hands as well as several champagne bottles being brought to the floor of the party. The guests were left covered in suds, to which a fashionably three hours late-arriving P. Diddy exclaimed “Now THIS is a party!”

There have been other recorded incidents related to Gibb as well. In 2002, during a cross country flight, Gibb and Michael McDonald were engaging in a political discussion that became heated. Reportedly, each singer’s voice raised in pitch as the argument escalated, eventually damaging fiber-optic cable that was part of the airplane’s guidance system. The aircraft was forced to make an emergency landing for repairs. Passengers were directed to another flight and Gibb and McDonald arrived to their respective destinations via ground transportation.

“This is unbelievable”, said one police officer at the Louvre. “I’ve never seen anything like this.” He was referencing the body of the one victim of the incident who did not survive. “It’s as if, his head exploded”. It should be noted that Barry Gibb was originally slated to play the lead in the movie “Scanners”, but had to decline due to scheduling conflicts.

“This is going to take quite some time to repair”, maintained museum director Henri Loyrette. "This amount of damage by a single human is unprecedented.”