| '*YOU ARE DEAD*'
Plus, all your savestates are destroyed.
As The ship falls, Now, You Escape. You Get In A spring-a van and speed away. now that you've killed some grues, you fly off. at least you didn't die.
''In Dark Jib's stargate
So far so bad.you are now in the arena, still in the ship,you were hit by the future at
> Leave office
You wander out of BENSON's office. You are met by a deathly silence. It seems that BENSON's 2-D House of Pancakes is now closed. Forever.
The deputy runs out of the kitchen. She stops in front of you and says, "So, what evidence have you got?"
You show her what you've collected. She sighs disapprovingly, and says, "Sorry, that's not nearly enough to clear our names. Get back in there!"
She pushes you back into the BENSON's office and slams the door. You hear her running, probably back into the kitchen.
> Look
You are standing in what is obviously an office. There is an old mahogany desk with some papers on it, and a waste-paper basket at its foot.
> Search desk
It appears there is a lot of stuff in there, including a desk defence grue.
> Attack grue with fork
The fork pierces the grue's body. It slumps down, dead. Also in the desk is a coin and a memo.
> Examine coin
The coin has a hole in the middle, and appears to be worth "5 Zorkmids". It has KILL GRUESLAYER engraved on one side and KILL DEPUTY engraved on the other.
> Take coin
Taken.
> Read memo
The memo reads:
BENSON, you must not fail where Ronalds failed. You must kill the Grueslayer before my hiding place is discovered.
Signed, U-Gene.
> Take memo
Taken.
> Examine papers
The papers are all mundane business accounts, records, notes, and letters. You read through them all, but all you discover of interest is that BENSON purchased some "medicinal toxin" from a figure named "U-Gene". The rest are all letters from egg companies and flour millers, long lists of numbers, and notes on the order of a dart-board with something on it called an "Ouroboros".
> Take U-Gene paper
Taken.
> Examine waste-paper basket
It appears to be a small wicker waste-paper basket. Inside it is a piece of scrunched-up paper.
> Read paper
The paper goes as follows:
- "Table 6:
- 3 plain pancakes w/ syrup
- 2 cinnamon pancakes w/o syrup
- 4 kiddie pancakes w/o syrup"
and then goes on:
- "Table 13 (for ambiguous-looking person and companion):
- 5 'special' pancakes w/ extra cyanide"
It's hardly suprising the pancakes you were going to be served had poison in them.
> Take paper
Taken.
Sorry, that is not a valid command.
> Socket light stone into Smith's sword
You now have a grue-killing weapon. The prospector has entered his cabin.
> look
You are in an abandoned mining camp. You see a sign that says "DANGER, GRUES" in a dark Mining Shaft. There is a small cabin to the right of you. A fire pit is in the center, with a fire inside.
> Inventory
You have a Smith's sword with a light-stone, a grapple, and fifty rupees.
> Mount St. Helens?
Yes, but it hasn't erupted in a while.
> Wait. Longer intervals between eruptions mean bigger explosions.
Correct.
> gulp
You gulp.
> look
You are at the base of Mount St. Helens, in Washington. There is scorched earth and dead trees. Also, a shining light is coming from the top of the mountain. It might be important. Actually, it is. That is where the Four Sword is. It is very bright outside.
> Cool!
Also, there is a trail straight to it.
> k00l!1!!11#@
And a kid in a green skirt is running towards you.
|
This user is the Grueslayer death page specialist.
|
> {{{1}}}
ten years later, you are found in a room.
> neat!
Pick up pistol? Y/N
Y
so you take a gun.
Shoot grue? Y/N
> Y
BAM!'BAM!!'BLAM!!!111three shots later, the grue dies. your pistol is actually a revolver.
Carry on?
Y/N
> Y
and you open the door.
HOLY HAMSTERS IN A HAPPY MEAL
YOU ARE SUDDENLY ATTACKED
> attack Feminine-Looking Wizzard
How would you like to do that?
> swing knife at Wizzard
In a random act of savagery, you swing your worn butcher knife at the Wizzard. The knife bounces harmlessly off of the Wizzard's mirror-coated exterior. Needless to say, that wasn't the desired effect.
The Feminine-Looking Wizzard becomes slightly angrier after your attempts.
> swing crowbar at Wizzard
Running out of ideas, you whip your crowbar out of your infinitely deep pocket and swing it wildly at the Wizzard. The Wizzard takes the beating, staring at you out of boredom, until at last you create a small crack in its skin.
The Wizzard eyes you angrily and begins casting what seems to be a particularly nasty spell. You'll have to act quickly.
| Maze
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Score: ?
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Moves: ?
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You reach a dead end and spin around quickly. Standing in front of you is a Grue that enjoyed the chase a little more than you did. The Grue eats you before you even get a chance to scream, but at least you provided it with a little entertainment.
- *** You shagged the sheep, and are expelled from Uncyclopedia ***
Would you like to log in to your account so you can vandalise some more, use your brother's computer, or turn off your computer? (type ACCOUNT, BROTHER, or SHUTDOWN):
((But, There' one Terror You Didn't eliminnate.))
> Who!!??
Anti Jib: Me!
includeonly>Zork </includeonly>
| The True Ending Of Zork
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Score: 0ver 9000
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Moves: 780
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You Fight Anti-Jib!
> Pk Thunder !
200 HP Of Damage To Anti Jib!
Pk Freeze!
You Are Frozen!
Pk...Avalanche! You Are Frozen intense!
400 DMG!
> Pk...STARSTORM!
Over 9000 HP Of DAmage To Anti Jib!
Anti-Jib Died!
YOU WIN!
click here!
enter secret door?
Y/N
Y
| Maze
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Score: ?
|
Moves: ?
|
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You reach a dead end and spin around quickly. Standing in front of you is a Grue that enjoyed the chase a little more than you did. The Grue eats you before you even get a chance to scream, but at least you provided it with a little entertainment.
- *** You shagged the sheep, and are expelled from Uncyclopedia ***
Would you like to log in to your account so you can vandalise some more, use your brother's computer, or turn off your computer? (type ACCOUNT, BROTHER, or SHUTDOWN):
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