Zork

You find yourself in a strange circular room. The wall, floor and ceiling is painted jet black, but hundreds of glowing crystals scattered around the room cast a myriad of colors and shapes across the walls. Strangely, the smell of rain is everywhere. You feel that the air around you is charged with energy.

There is a small figure in a black hooded robe nearby.

> examine crystal
As you look upon the glowing crystal closest to you, you spy an image floating inside it. You get a peculiar feeling while studying it. The location depicted in the image is distinct - the foyer of a fairly decent home, with something hanging on hooks above the mantelpiece - but it seems as if you're actually gazing at many places at once, with only the slightest differences between them.

> talk to figure
The figure turns to you, and is revealed to be an ageless, faceless, gender-neutral, culturally ambiguous adventure person, just like you. "What in the blazes...? Oh, no, not you. You're just gonna mess up my fine work if you hang around in here. Get out! Out, I say! And don't touch anything!"

> wait
You stand your ground. The AFGNCAAP reaches into a back pocket and pulls out a remote control. As the upper-left button is pressed, a dimensional portal (appearing in the form of a wooden door in the south wall) swings open with a creak. Returning the control to the pocket, the AFGNCAAP says "Look, this place isn't a part of your adventure anyway. If you want to find the Twenty Treasures of Zork, I suggest you leave through that door. But, if you can show that you know what you're doing, I might allow you to hang around for a bit - as long as you make yourself useful."

With that, the AFGNCAAP resumes whatever the hell he/she/it was doing.

• enter dimensional portal
• say xyzzy