Ultra diabetes

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Ultra diabetes in its pure, unadulterated form.

super "Ultra" diabetes (born December 5, 1948) (originally named Wilford Brimley) was born in Beijing, China, mothered by Jackie Chan. Sir diabetes later became a transsexual stripper with fellow roommate Ann Coulter, singing renditions of disco songs in the mid 70s by The Village Men and Donna Summer. Ultra Diabetes soon went into a deep depression after finding out his fellow roommate Ann Coulter had a sex-change operation — not only that, but he/she also became a full-blown homophobic/capitalist/right-wing/bitch. 1978 is the year when Ultra diabetes stopped dragging.

Biography[edit | edit source]

Early life and career[edit | edit source]

Donald Trump as a youth, eating crayons and masturbating. Proclaiming his lust for "shovels" whilst orgasming.

Ultra diabetes is one of the few diseases/humans to ever exist (see also Kevin Federline). At the young age of four, Ultra diabetes learned the startling truth of his father's death. The cause of death was Ultra diabetes (and a heroin overdose). Diabetes had to raise a full house without the support of his deadbeat, shit-stain mother, Jackie Chan. Ultra diabetes' tragic childhood was later made into the sitcom Celebrity Fit Club. As a child, Ultra diabetes usually had to compensate for his rather small genital size. By doing this, he would listen to rather small genital size-music. His favorite activities as a child included: eating crayons and masturbating. Cursed with the evil face of Enah, Super Ultra Diabetes was endowed with the unlimited powers of Chorgerztime.

Drug Usage[edit | edit source]

Ultra diabetes was a frequent drug user, starting the addiction at Woodstock '69. Preferred drugs included: diet pills, whipped cream bottles, cats (preferably huffed), corn, doo-doo fecies, and LSD. Ultra diabetes was often regarded from others such as George Carlin and Jimi Hendrix as "not groovy" and "super lame". Super diabetes went into a deep depression because of this — for the first time! (j/k)

Marriage and Miscarriage[edit | edit source]

During the late '60s Ultra diabetes began to develop a romantic relationship with Snowball (the pig from Animal Farm). In 1972, they fucked like chimps and made a disgusting porno. During pregnancy, Ultra diabetes and Snowball decided to go back to 1951 for an abortion to be performed. Snowball and Ultra diabetes married shortly after they threw their hideous stillbirth in the local dumpster.

Divorce and Musical Career[edit | edit source]

In 1975, Snowball and Ultra diabetes filed for divorce. The main reason is because of Ultra Diabetes' lust for disco music. Ultra diabetes had a short lived music career. His only discography was a cover album LP. Critics have cited his work as "worse than goatse and concentration camps" and "marginally better than Aaron Carter". Ultra diabetes' albums are the number one cause of suicide in western culture. Number two being poverty, disease, severe depression, or similar situations that make whiny bitches cry.

Discography[edit | edit source]

Ultra diabetes in full drag during his rendition of Bad Girls by Donna Summer.

Singles[edit | edit source]

Albums[edit | edit source]

Ultra Diabetes' Father[edit | edit source]

Ultra diabetes' father is still a matter of dispute to this day. Here we have selected a highly probable and diverse list of potential fathers.

List of Potential Fathers:[edit | edit source]

It is likely that Anna Nicole "dude-tits" Smith (shown above) is the father.

Personal Life[edit | edit source]

Three ladies enjoying their Ultra diabetes.

Ultra diabetes is currently working at the beach performing oral sex with Clay Aiken for dimes and nickels, still spreading the love of disease. Ultra diabetes is mainly acquired by using any of your nine senses (sight, hearing, taste, smell, touch, thermoception, nociception, equilibrioception, and proprioception) with anybody that has Ultra diabetes — don't think about it! That's the deadliest way to catch it!

Controversy[edit | edit source]

Despite having absolutely no opposing views, Ultra diabetes is still more controversial than Carlos Mencia.

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Uncyclopedia members are prone to laugh at homosexual, communist, and pop culture jokes.
  • You have it! Find the nearest medical doctor before it's too late!
  • Only Chuck Norris is immune to the disease.
  • Stephen King has written a book about the unspeakable horrors of Ultra diabetes, the book is expected to be published never.
  • 1984 is ACTUALLY based on Ultra diabetes! (The book, not the year with big hair and Miami Vice. Although, Ultra diabetes was very popular back then.)

People with Ultra Diabetes[edit | edit source]

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