The mouse with a human ear on its back
The mouse with a human ear on its back is a mouse with a human ear on its back. In laymen's terms, that means that it (the mouse), is infact a mouse, and it has a human ear on its back. I know, it's difficult to grasp at first, but hang with me here.
Some speculate the mouse with a human ear on its back is part of a nefarious plot by the CIA and Big Brother to spy on filthy commie pinkos. This is supported by the fact that the mouse with a human ear on its back is, itself, pink. However, the human ear on the back of the mouse with a human ear on its back is nonfunctional. Still, Big Brother will neither confirm nor deny these allegations. The CIA, in the meantime, is bogged down by bogus reports of flying saucers. It is thought that such ridiculous reports were made by people who were looking at the mouse with a human ear on its back and only saw the human ear on the mouse's back.
As far as facts go, there is a movement by some wood-loving pseudo-hippies to have the ear removed from the small beast. This would violate both the Geneva Convention and Hippy Code, as removal of the ear would be mutilation of a human being, and desecration of the sacred small science rodent. The mainstream hippie population rejects this idea, because it is cruelty to animals. In fact, there is a call in the Hippie Commune Capitol to put to trial the pseudo-hippies who want the ear removed from the back of the mouse with a human ear on its back, but no one's doing anything more because the trial would violate the freedom clause of the Hippie Code.
More History[edit | edit source]
Given up at childbirth by a lovely mother and a father who were nothing but dirty rats, the mouse with a human ear on its back (or Starshine Dust, as the hippies called him) fled the oppresive regime of his native country, Mousehole. This Exodus was egged on by Ratigan, the World's Greatest Rat Mouse. As Starshine Dust fled, he thought he heard, with all three ears, "it's about time we got rid of that freak. Let's party."
Starshine Dust, in fact, is completely deaf.
He left, with nowhere to go but the kitchen, where he ran into his nemesis, Morgan the cat. He and Morgan locked into an epic legal battle of Cat Vs. Mouse, with neither side winning and both sustaining heavy emotional and financial damages. Morgan filed for bankrupcy, and Starshine Dust changed his name to Bob to avoid the debt-collectors.
It was at this time that Bob was discovered and put to work in a science lab, much like his father had been at an early age. Working slowly up the hierarchy, from janitor to mail mouse, he found his calling after his 11th year: Public Relations. With his three ears, Bob was in instant success. Despite being entirely deaf, people from customers to top executives felt that he was the best listener they'd ever known. His quite, non-conversational demeaner gave him a mystery about himself that boosted Bob to the top.
Even More History[edit | edit source]
Having secured his place in the company's history as the only mouse with a human ear on his back that anyone then employed there could remember, Bob did everything from advertising to marketing to giving his company an adorable Picasso-like mutated face. No one yet seems to know why, but it also seems that no one really cares why.
After years of public scrutiny and unbridled fame, Bob settled into the background. He is now retired in a Florida beach community, living it up under an undisclosed pseudonym in a condo with his wife at his side. It is rumored that the happy rodent couple is now enjoying a close-knit family life with their new litter of a dozen cute little mouselings. It is reported that none of the little mouslings have yet developed human ears on their back.
They later discovered that the mouse with the human ear was, in fact, adopted. He was the lovechild of a hippey named Sunshine Pumpkin Princess and a sewer dwelling dwarf named Jim (also known as Powderpuff king). The relationship hit the rocks when the government unravled the mystery of where the many mice with human parts on their back were comming from. Social Services found the living condition of the sewer to be unfit for children and took them all to area 51 foster care. Bob happened to be lucky enough to excape with his life. His siblings were forced to have mandatory plastic surgery and later went on to be glamorous supermodels for science magazines.