The Mysterious Ball

Look at that ball. Just look at it. It's so fucking mysterious.

The Mysterious Ball is a ball that's just super fucking mysterious. It's damn mysterious, and I MEAN it when I say it's damn mysterious. I mean, it's so mysterious, nobody knows why it's so mysterious. That's what makes it so mother-fucking mysterious.

I mean, just look at that ball. Just look at it. It's so mysterious. It's just sitting in the corner, like that. I'm literally gonna go mindfucked because I'm staring at it for too long. I'm being fucking serious here. Look, I know this is Uncyclopedia but I'm really damn fucking serious. That ball's just fucking mysterious. Why the fuck are you laughing? I'm not joking, I'm being fucking serious! That ball's mysterious. You can feel the aura, the atmosphere enclosing around it ... it's just so undescribable...so...mysterious.

That ball is just mysterious! Plain mother - fucking mysterious. M.y.s.t.e.r.i.o.u.s. M for mysterious. Just look at it! You can't deny the fact that it's so mysterious! It's fucking mysterious!

Look at that shit! It's STILL lying there, stumped in the corner. It's so mysterious, I tell you! I mean, it's really fucking mysterious! No. It's not just mysterious.

Screw that, it's dangerous. A ball that lies around in the corner all day cannot be trusted. You can't trust that ball. It's too mysterious and dangerous to be trusted.

It's still lying there. That ball's a genius. It's waiting for you to pass by, then before you know it, it will jump on you, it will consume every living flesh in your body. Listen to me, it's fucking mysterious. And dangerous. That ball can't be trusted. Don't trust it. Don't ever ever trust it. Don't underestimate it. It's not a normal ball. It's incredibly elusive, sitting there in the corner, like Oh, I would'nt hurt a fly! Come here, I'm just your every day regular ball!.

Bullshit.

You CANNOT underestimate it. It's mysterious, extremely extremely mysterious and dangerous. And elusive. A genius ball. Just sitting there. Waiting for it's first victim. Don't be a fool! Don't trust it! If you think it's just a normal ball, you're dead wrong.

It's Mysterious, elusive and dangerous

Don't trust it! Like I said, it's fucking mysterious. And dangerous. And elusive. Sitting in the corner all day, HA! I won't be fooled! Oh, look. It's STILL lying over there, in that corner, looking so harmless. How ironic, that it can be anything but harmless. It's so fucking mysterious.

Bermuda Triangle? Screw that. This mysterious, genius and dangerous ball is much, much, more risky to cross over. You know the disappearence of Osama bin Laden? Fuck the people's claims. Maybe the reason Osama is dead is because he passed over the fucking ball! That fool! He survived numerous years in captivity, but he got tricked by that ball! That must be it. What the people of America said are Lies. Complete mother-fucking bullshit insane lies. Osama was'nt killed by some SWAT or Interpol shit. He was killed by that elusive ball, I tell you!

And our World may be at risk of falling into the hands of this ball. Listen to me, I tell you! This ball may one day, wipe out the entire human race itself! It's elusiveness, lying there all day, has only revealed it's sheer genius. Don't fucking underestimate it. Don't fucking ever EVER EVER EVER underestimate it.

Underestimating it may very well be the last thing you do.

So, listen to me, when I say this ball is fucking mysterious, elusive and dangerous. When you look at it lying around the corner harmlessly, doing nothing, in other words, awaiting it's first victim, you'll know I'm right.

It can wipe out the human race!

Don't touch that ball! It looks harmless, but it isn't.

Believe me, if a ball can execute it's act with such elusiveness, sitting in the corner of the room like that, it has the brains and the wits to fucking wipe out the human race.

Don't believe me? Look at that fucking ball! It has the looks of the devil on it. It is a ferocious beast, awaiting its prey, as it hides silently in the darkness of the corner of this mother fucking room.

Why the fuck are you still giggling? Have I not explained to you the consequences of not believing me, you fools? It may look like an ordinary ball, but once it pounces on you and eats you, is there anything to laugh about from that? It is fooling you, as I have told you many times before!

Look at that ball! You cannot but confess that it's a fucking mysterious ball. But dangerous? Difficult to see. That ball's a smart one. It's so fucking smart, it makes fucking Albert Einstein's brain look like the size of a walnut! And do you know how small a walnut is? Definitely smaller than this ball's brain, that's for sure.

I mean, that ball can fucking wipe out the human race! You guys have to believe me! I'm not lying! Why would I lie about a fucking grey ball anyway? This ball, can wipe out the human race.

It can wipe out the human race.

YOU GUYS MUST BELIEVE ME, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Conclusion

The ball is elusive, dangerous and mysterious. This is my last warning to you, you fools! You guys gotta believe me, and try to wipe out the remaining existence of this fucking grey ball, before it wipes out us!

Do you understand what we're dealing with here?

This ball can wipe out the entire human race!

This ball can fucking take over our World!

Fuck that, this ball can take over our entire Universe!

This ball can -

Editor's Note : The author of this article has appearently gone bat fuck insane. We apologise for any inconvenience caused.