Texas A&M University

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“Teaxs Aggies? More like Texas FAGgies, amirite?”

Texas A&M University
Fuck! I'm on Fire!
Motto Gig em' Aggies!
Established 1876
School type Public
Head Darth Vader & the The Imperial Wizard
Location College Town, Texas ?, USA
Campus Aggie Land
Endowment 12 inches
Faculty Illinois Nazis
Mascot Charlie, the happy negro


When a young man graduates from high school he will probably make one of the most important decisions of his life: where he will continue his education. If he decides to blow his future, and party hard, more than likely he will go to t.u. However, if he decides to shave his head, make friends at an all male strip club, and become a gay legend, he will attend Texas A&M University.

Texas A&M -- established 1876, built on morals and utmost comaraderie, the school was originally a military college established with the hopes they would want to learn about cows or some shit like that. TAMU was originally called TAMC, standing for Texas All Males Club.

Aggies worship many gods, none of them benevolent.


One Aggie tradition is to spend all year waiting for one game, just to lose the game and jokingly say you "ran out of time", then to wait another year and do the same thing.

Another tradition of the Aggies is bashing the t.u. They also hate black people and only recruit African-Americans for their sports teams in a sad attempt to make said sports teams better than those of the Texas Longhorns and to avoid lawsuits. There is only one type of person that goes to Texas A & M - the type that succeeds at making the black quarterback spludge in his mouth.

Yet another tradition of the TAMU is creating a huge bonfire and dancing around it in the nude while worshipping Satan. They then throw large amounts of marijuana onto the pyre to get everyone high. This is how they initiate the freshmen before football season. One year they threw so much pot on the fire it made an unstable stargate and swallowed a few students before collapsing.

The Corps[edit]

Because Texas A&M is a recognized Senior Military College, the Corps of Cadets is a large body of mostly male students who constantly exercise, discipline freshmen, and uphold tradition.

The Corps was the US Government's first experiment with highly effective indoctrination in military tradition. This was later perfected when National Socialists created the Hitlerjugend

The Corps is, for the most part, a collection of weeaboos, school shooters, closet nazis, flamboyant nazis, and army fags.

The Corps is useful only for making loud noises, chase freshmen, smell weird, eat their medals, and host fight club behind the Dixie Chicken Mondays at 3am.

Quotes from Notable Alumini[edit]

"What the fuck." Spanish Egyptian Gustavo Pulgar's most famous words, exclusively used when losing at FIFA 2010.

"Hi, my name is Faissal." Faissal Sheikh, disgruntled student.

"Hello folks, Art Belmonte here." Arthur Belmonte, Calculus 3 Professor. Arthur Belmonte excells in training students to control long range missiles using calculators.


A tradition, executed by a simple "thumbs up". Also known as 'Fuck 'em', the sign originated from a former coach who told the A&M football team to "gig the hell outta TCU".[Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] At that very moment, a new campus tradition was born, and in their excitement, A&M left the game to tell the rest of the student body and Faculty their new phrase. What A&M tends to forget is that 15 minutes before practice, the former and current coach were smoking leftover weed from that years initiation bonfire and watching TV. They basically stole it from Quagmire's "giggity giggity" of Family Guy. The most important part of this tradition is that nobody actually knows what "gigging" is.

This tradition has also been controversely (erm, controvertially... yeah whoever wrote this oveeusly went to TAMU colledge, huh?) noted for various instances of "Gig-Em Get-Togethers" where massive thumb-to-butt "fights" occur between Corpsmen in a display of "Hey brah, look at how fucking MANLY[1][2][3][4] we are."