Template:Lead articles

Ahmadinejad says Iran is Ready for Nuclear Alternatives TEHRAN, Iran -- Iran is looking at green alternatives to nuclear power, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said Thursday, as toughening sanctions aimed at forcing Tehran to scale back its nuclear program has made "green" methods of power generation appear more lucrative than before. Even so, he says that the pressures will not force Iran to give up its demands, including to not buy American made windmills and solar panels, which he insists are hugely overpriced and poorly made. Full story»

Obama, Romney, burst into song on campaign; Soul Train founder shoots self in head Washington D.C, U.S.A -- President Barack Obama and presidential candidate Mitt Romney have surprised the public today by both singing songs from Soul Train in an effort to coerce voters. They seem to be actually having the opposite effect as a recent poll suggests. An estimated 90% of the 5% of people who wanted to vote for them have decided not to. Full story»

Police search for sceptical vandal SOUTH YARRA, Australia, GNN (Goanna News Network). POLICE were yesterday on the lookout for a "callous and calculating" sceptic whose vandalism challenged and/or showed contempt for a wide range of entirely baseless supernatural beliefs. Full story»

Amateur Anthropologist Killed by Relatively Uncontacted Tribe A wannabe anthropologist has met his end late last year in the South-American rainforest while trying to gain the trust of some primitive tribesmen. Since the eighties he has been trying to contact the wild population living in some isolated natural park. First he captured one of their women with a special Louis Vuitton fur trap, married her and learned their language. Full story»

Granny "Opens a Can" on Somali Pirates Gulf of Oman – Gertrude Keeler, 82, of Abeline, Texas returned to a hero's welcome today after she single-handedly eliminated a group of seven Somali pirates in the Gulf of Oman last Friday. While out for a pleasure cruise in the Gulf of Oman, the yacht Fading Star was attacked by seven Somali pirates, who intended to hold the craft and its passengers and crew for ransom. The Malawi-flagged yacht, owned by Row, Row, Row Your Boat Inc., operates discount pleasure cruises from ports in Djibouti, Full story»

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