Tax (dance)

This article is about the popular dance movement of the 1940s. For taxation by governments, see Taxes.

A young Stone Cold Steve Austin performs the Tax move on an unknown woman. Mr. Austin would later use his jitterbug skills to perfect his pro-wrestling finishing move.

It is said there are only two things in life you can depend on: Death, and being zapped by static electricity whenever you touch a metal door knob. Completely unrelated to this however, is the Tax.

The Tax is a very specialised dance move from the early 1940's, specifically to be performed while doing the, at the time, popular jitterbug. Being a very rare move, details can be fuzzy, but it is generally agreed upon amongst jitterbug scholars that the Tax was performed by picking up your partner from the dance floor, spinning him or her around 180 degrees on a vertical axis and slamming him or her face-first into the floor. The rarity of people who've seen this move in action is usually attributed to the difficulty of performing the move (the Taxer must be physically strong and the Taxee would need to be either fearless or have an extremely strong facial build) and its tendency to be fatal.

Famous moments in the history of Tax

Two young dancers visibly shaken, but alive, after doing the Tax.

• 1945 - Seeing as he had no further chance of winning World War 2, Adolf Hitler decided that he would rather see his family die by his own hands than by that of the Russian forces. His wife and 92 children were all killed by being on the receiving end of the Tax. Hitler himself was Taxed by Hermann Göring, who later committed suicide by eating every berlinervankuchen in the Third Reich.

• 1972 - The PTID (Peace Through Interpretive Dancing) initiative fails horribly as a North Vietnamese representative puts a South Vietnamese representative in a coma during a session of 50's themed peace dance-offs. The Tax was blamed.

• 2002 - Thanks to an emotional, yet uplifting, feature on an episode of Oprah, doing the Tax experiences a short resurgence of popularity among housewives and unemployed people across the globe. Casualties were counted in the thousands.

• 2005 - As a string of bird flu cases are reported around the world, some anonymous health officials made statements suggesting the connection between the deadly virus and the Tax.

See also

• Jitterbug
• Interpretive dancing
• Oprah Winfrey