Solid

A solid is defined as something that doesn't slosh around - even when written a strongly worded letter asking it to do so. Many different solids exist, some are more solid than others, whereas others are less solid than other others. Some are burgundy, some are burgundy, and some are even burgundy. At the end of the day, the only thing they have in common is their refusal to slosh.

Uses

Scientists and laymen alike have so far discovered 24 uses for solids. This number is highly conservative, the real value is sure to be much greater.

Hitting Things

The usefulness of solids in hitting things is best illustrated by a thought experiment. Suppose you wanted to hit your mother-in-law because she is an evil, dried up bitch with no soul. You have a number of choices. You could try to hit her with a liquid. This would be largely unsuccessful owing to the high sloshability factors of most liquids. Alternatively, you could attempt to hit her with a gas. This would be even less successful due to the astronomical sloshabilty factors of all gasses. Finally, you could hit her with a solid. Depending on the solid, of course, this technique can prove very effective.

Holding Things

Solids are known as the "tamer of phases of matter" owing to their propensity to hold liquids, gasses and plamsa in a container. They are unrivalled in their ability to do so. A commonly cited example which illustrates this property of solids is milk bottles. Without milk bottles, milk would spill all over the bench, the floor and your shoes. Interestingly enough, these three things are also solids.

Breaking Other Things

Another classic use for solids is breaking other things. Generally investigators are talking about breaking other solids, but breaking liquids and gasses has been achieved with a variety of solids. There are many ways to facilitate the breaking of something with a solid. The most common is by throwing your solid at the object you wish to break. This works especially well for priceless ming vases and your mother-in-law's head. Slower breaking is also possible when using a solid in the shape of a tool such as a saw.

History of the word solid

It came from the old expression "you've well got sol's id" meaning increadably hard. It originates from Sol Campbells great great great granfather who was a fearless brute of a warrior and captured lands far and wide, leaving nothing but smoking corpses in his wake. When he was finally defeated the man who vanquished the Great Sol Campbell stole his id and brandished it around the towns conquered by Sol and claiming them for his own since he destroyed Sol saying he was the stronger warrior. Since that day anyone who possessed similar stength and power was known to have pocessed "Sol's id". This eventually over time was shortened into the word "solid".

History

As usual, solids were discovered by Your Mom in 177 AD, in an experiment involving a padlock, 24 miscellanious dead things, and a watermelon. Their popularity blossomed after this, due to their widespread uses. Also, natural selection played a significant role, as animals that did not utilise solids were quickly overtaken by animals exploiting solids and eliminated from the gene pool. Within 24 years, the use of solids was second nature to all animals, and the "Solid Age" was born. To this day, solids play a huge role in all our activities, and will continue to do so as long as we both shall live.

Examples of solids

There are many examples of solids. These are some of the more well known ones:

• Bowling balls
• Bones
• Frozen jelly
• Very small rocks
• Wood
• Metal
• Gall stones
• Snake