Sidney Crosby

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Sidney Crosby is a Canadian species of weasel (Mustela Crybabyus). It can typically be found in it's natural environment, whining to the referee. Though generally a timid creature, it can become very aggressive when it doesn't get it's way.

Originally, the Sidney Crosby species was observed exclusively in the Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia area (fossil records date back to 1987) but has since migrated to the Pittsburgh region of the United States. Despite its tame nature, it can become infuriated easily and can grow dangerous to himself and his surrounding environment when it believes the officiating is not going in it's favor.

One of the characteristics that separates the Sidney Crosby from other species of weasel (Like the Alexander Ovechkin or the Sean Avery) is it's inability to grow fur in the facial region, leaving a hairless, bare area at the front of the head. The Sidney Crosby are very unusual in that they are slow in reaching adulthood.

The Introduction was a Joke, He is the GOAT[edit | edit source]

Crosby reacts to his team during hard times in 2015, demanding a better effort from teammates.

Crosby is a god! The haters don't want you to know that though. Sidney "Savior" Crosby" saved our favorite team, the Pittsburgh Penguins! Ever since that day, he has returned the team to it's glorious days! He led us to the prestigious Stanley Cup in 2009, too bad it was only onc- just kidding! This article hasn't been updated in awhile. He, along with Phil "The Thrill, Back-To-Back Champion" Kessel, Evgeni Malkin, and Matt Murray, has led the team to back-to-back championships! If the Penguins 3-peat, you all can kneel down to him. It's a shame that haters try and tarnish his name, he's the Tom Brady of the NHL. No other player can come close to him, not even Connor McDavid! McDavid may surpass him one day, but it won't happen anytime soon. If McDavid does, you probably know who he took lessons from (see page name).

Anyways, if you call him a crybaby or "soft", just remember you're describing the sophomore year of himself. No hockey player can be weak, and most of these couch-critics wouldn't last a day in the league anyways! Have a great day!

Criticism and Popularity via criticism[edit | edit source]

Despite being an enthusiastic and agile creature who draws attention and crowds to the Pittsburgh area, it is often criticised by numbers of people for it's overly-gigantic mouth. It is also heavily criticised for letting out its irritating whines and cries. Other common uses may include favors for leaders of its given field (see Stanley Cup below).

Although the Sidney Crosby is currently less of a pest in recent times than it was when it first emerged in the area, it's critics will still pick away at every wrong doing the creature has done throughout its young history and use it to provide other weasels with unwarranted self-importance.

So despite the Sidney Crosby being less intrusive and annoying as people make it out to be, its critics will use it as a scapegoat: something to complain about, something to target and to hate, in a vein attempt to juxtapose whatever species of weasel they support (Whether it be the the Pavel Datsyuk, or the Sean Avery). Whether it be criticism or admiration, the Sidney Crosby unites the populace. But it still whines a lot.

It's just a shame people won't get over him accidentally cutting Methot's finger off and slashing O'Rielly in the nuts. Oh, let's not forget when P.K Subban grabbed his leg and when he punched Subban, he was called a dirty player.

See also[edit | edit source]