Rape Me
| Ape Me | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Written by | Tim Burton |
| Starring | Not Caesar's balls, for some reason |
Release date | 1993 |
Running time | No idea; too expensive |
Rape Me is a 1993 American rape pornographic film directed by Kurt Cobain, starring Dave Grohl, Courtney Love and Love's vagina. It serves as a sequel to Work the Line and a prequel to the latest James Bond. The film tells the story of the raping of Cobain by Love and specifically the rape of Cobain's penis by Love's vagina. In 2021, Cobain's daughter sued Love for her portrayal of herself in the film, and demanded that the film would be re-released, but this time without Cobain's penis in it.
As a result, a remake to Rape Me, directed by Grohl, is in pre-production as of 2021, and will star a completely different set of vagina and penis. The original film has won a Golden Globe for Best Supporting Roll for Love's vagina.
In addition, Uncyclopedia is about to get sued by China for the slandering of egg rolls in this article, which would result in the rewriting of this article later in 2021.
China was never sued for COVID, just like Bush was never sued for WTC and for breaking his daughter's Nirvana CD.
Plot summary[edit | edit source]
*Theme from Dr. No*
Courtney Love arrives to Kurt Cobain's place and rapes Kurt's penis with her vagina in 15 different positions. Meanwhile, nothing else happens.
Eventually, Love comes in Kurt's face.
Director's Cut[edit | edit source]
*Theme from Dr. Lecter*
Courtney Love arrives to Kurt Cobain's place, cuts off Kurt's penis, fries it and eats it with her mouth with 15 different Heinz souces. Meanwhile, Rammstein arrive and join the party.
Eventually, Love burps.
Uncyclopedia's Cunt[edit | edit source]
Same as the original, only this time with my cunt.
Reception[edit | edit source]
Rape Me is the first rape porn film ever included in Rolling Stoned's 500 Greatest Films To Wank To Before You Murder Your Wife list. As of 2021, it holds 4% at Rotten Tomatoes, an all-times record for a rape porn. According to RT, "Rape Me may not be the best film in the world, but it sure is and will always remain the best rape propaganda in world's history". Roller Eggert gave the film four thumbs up, writing that "No porn was ever so rapey and no rape was ever so porney like in Kurt Cobain's adventurous latest flick".
*Hit So Hard by Hole*