Nature (journal)

Top articles: A coffee per day: A monkey brain has been studied to better understand the addiction of caffeine. The monkey is dead but it has been proved that a monkey on coffee is three times as productive as a monkey on cocaine. By Dr. Arnold Simian, dr. Ph. Professor Iam A. Gaylord A coconut on the head may cause commotion It has been speculated for years that a coconut on the head may cause commotion for the coconut that results in it being deformed and no longer drinkable. After hitting one's head with it, the coconut immediately loses its flavor and taste pretty much like expired milk. By Dr. Ph. Professor and Pope David Le Gruae The Dyslexia yesn’t contagious, thats comfortin6 Due to tis neù emerging study the Dickxlexia is not contagious. De study made possibly by young volounteers, has been conducted for at least E years and concluded deth dix… dis… dixlex… the disasee was never contagious. By rD. Hp. Ofessor Nahadin Benjamin Ramanuji Statistically 100% of probability does not exist! The new astonishing discovery in math led to paradoxes and riots in every field of science, but now it's confirmed that 100% does not exist in probability. To get to this conclusion, different experiments most likely to happen have been performed, like ice cream melting or a pornstar divorcing and it is clear that not all ice creams melt and some pornstars' marriages are still going well! By Dr. Strangelove and 50% by Dr. Maye Bee. The transplant of a monkey brain has been successful! A new transplant of a monkey brain has been performed and this time the monkey seemed not to die prematurely. It asked for coffee first, then died miserably with muscle tremors and violent diarrhea all over the place. The rest of the monkey has been trashed in the recycle bin where some scientist could experiment with. By Dr. Frank and Dr. Stein All the publications are protected by copyright and therefore unusable until approve of the owner!

News: June 2022: Outbreak of monkeypox in Africa: Scientist predicted the event but no one cared because you know, it's Africa. "You mean it's not the song? Nevermind." June 2022: How COVID deepened inequalities: The infection causes impossibility to solve algebraic inequalities. And moreover, the addition became subtraction. The case is still studied more and more to find a cure. June 2032: After a cruel battle HIV has been defeated! Thanks to the promising sex-machine that surrogates, the coitus no longer requires physical contact. June 2022: Breast cancer: Experts suggest not to sleep if you have cancer, it can know when you go to sleep and it grows rapidly after you sleep. After this study, none of the candidates died of cancer; they all died horribly by dream deprivation. Or by Freddy Krueger. We can't tell. May 2022: Some students created the first functioning particle accelerator with a carrot and two zucchinis. It must be noted that the boys were searching to find the death ray.

Scientific picture of the day: Something seems to be missing, but everyone is too stoned to care. Vote for featured images »

Contacts: Nature is a well known scientific journal. Therefore we do not accept work of anybody but only the most qualified scientists out there. Nature is a journal about serious matters and we do not care about your theory of everything if you are not cited by at least 20 professors or 40 doctors. We chose the policy of Wikipedia so we pretend citations in your paper are worth shit, and remember if you want really to contact us, please do not! Editor in chief: Magdalena Skipper.