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MrX raped by Magic Ponies

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This fable takes place in Hong Kong, China.

A small-sized, Chinese teenager has just entered the local police station in a hurry. The child's name is MrX.

MrX: You've got to help me! Something terrible has happened to me. I am...pregnant with a strange foetus growing inside me!

Policeman at the desk:: Whoa whoa whoa, easy now screaming over-emotional woman. No're a man...and pregnant? Zheesh it is a total freak-show in this precinct today. Try and explain what has happened?

MrX: What am I going to do...this baby will be some half-breed developmentally stunted equine-human!

Policeman at the desk:: Cut the theatrics and tell me what happened

MrX: I was raped by gay My Little Ponies earlier today!

Policeman: Something doesn't add up here. I thought My Little Ponies were completely macho and hetero!

MrX: That may be so but the ones that raped me were flaming poofs.

Policeman: Is this a joke?

MrX: No, I'm being 100% serious here. I was minding my own business slurping on some noodles, you know, hand made noodles...the salty kind...

Policeman: On noodle street?

MrX7: Yeah. Eating some al-dente ramen and they fucked me in front of a table of tourists.

Policeman: Did they have rainbow sperm?

MrX: I don't know....what does that matter? All ponies have AIDS...! You have to help me...I don't want to die of AIDS cancer!

Policeman: So you are telling me you got cancer and AIDS from your gay pony lovers?

MrX: NO you don't understand! I'm not into gay ponies. I was RAPED anally against my will. I just started a new dream job as and don't have time for AIDS-cancer!

Policeman: That story seems too weird to be true. You must have provoked the gay ponies into it. What were you wearing?

MrX: I had on my hipster shorts.

Policeman: What are those?

MrX: You know...shorts that are so tight you can almost see my anus.

Policeman: So you were just asking to be raped by a pony!

MrX: No. Don't you get it. I said NO. No no no. And no means no.

Policeman: Well...not with gay ponies with AIDS apparently.

MrX: Please...please do something. I can feel the AIDS-cancer spreading through my body already.

Policeman: I just don't think I can do anything. It's your word against the word of trusted lovable little ponies. Where's your proof?

MrX: Here's your proof, a caricature sketch artist drew this while they violated my ass.

This is the kind of material you generally should present as evidence.

See Also

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