MicroSonyNtendo
After an epic battle in the year 2600 against Sony and Nintendo, and spectator Microsoft, the entity known as MicroSonyNtendo (Pronounced microsoneentendo) was created.
In the years following its creation, the world was blessed with the XPS7ii, a wonderful amalgamation of the old PS3, XBOX 360, and Wii. The XPS7ii, connecting directly to the user via a Microsoft designed anal probe that linked up with the BS being generated by your brain, was designed to both suck away your soul--which powered the MicroSonyNtendo bot--and provide you with years of pseudo-entertainment.
Industry History[edit | edit source]
Nintendo was just a somewhat gentle nation, sharing an uneasy peace with the Playstionians. However on November 15th 2002, Nintendo was invaded by the Nation of xBox, under the rule of the Microsoft government dictatorship, led by Linus Torvalds and Steve Jobs. The xBoxians had intended to make Nintendo a colony where they would force the Nintendian people to make shitty games for their oversized consoles.
As the wars raged, the factions ultimately merged and filtered out returning to their previous incarnations around the year 2300. All was at peace for 300 years, while the three largest gaming entities held fast to their ground--loudly and violently crushing all the newer, smaller companies that tried to create their own systems. Companies such as Nokia and Atari.
But, in the year 2600, at the great soundstage 10 at the Sony Pictures studio, the Gundam bot known as Sony awoke and began its rampage upon the world. Travelling to Tokyo, the Sony bot encountered Nintendobot--created from thousands of Wiis and GameCubes stuck together and powered on the wet dreams of millions of otaku--and a great battle ensued.
After destroying much of Tokyo and causing many Japanese men and women to run around screaming, the battle moved on to destroy the Empire of China, and then jumped to obliterate what little remained of Canada. The Microsoft server-station, which had been watching the entire ordeal from his geostationary spot just over Canada, had become entangled in the battle ultimately merging with the Sony bot and Nintendobot. The merger, proving highly profitable and unstoppable by the US Government's weakling--the GovBot, created the entity known as MicroSonyNtendo.
It has been observed that even though the companies had merged to form a super Gundam bot, the abbreviation of the capital letters still formed MSN.
The 21st Century[edit | edit source]
Sometime into the beginning of the 2600s, it became clear to MicroSonyNtendo executives--whose heads were separated from their bodies, suspended in applesauce, and wired to each other in the heart of the MicroSonyNtendo bot--that Ninja must be sent back to the 21st Century to ensure that the Sony bot was built stronger and faster. After many rounds of rock, paper, scissors--and realizing that none of the 13 execs had hands--they decided upon releasing a single ninja master towards the middle of the year 2006.
Through a concoction of a broken Mr. Coffee pot and a Sony Ericcson S700i cell phone, the Ninja master descended upon the unsuspecting ranks of the early days of Sony.
After several months of mental and physical training, and the tying up of interns with bribes of full time jobs and full college credit, the elite Ninja infiltrated soundstage 10 and began construction of the Sony Gundam bot using the soul of Alex Trebek as fuel.
At the same time, the remaining Microsoft portion of the MicroSonyNtendo bot decided to send back its own team of Super Mega Uber Lawyers to build the mighty empire of Microsoft in hopes of creating a larger MicroSonyNtendo in the future. A quick modification of Windows Galaxy edition--the OS that ran the server-station--placed on the Sony time machine, and after several blue screen of deaths later, the daunting plague of lawyers was unleashed unto the Microsoft campus.
With pending release of the Vista operating system, and through the use of hentai and beer to bribe the programming staff, a master operating system was created. When Vista premiered and became the OS of choice for all new computers, a secret coding turned all Windows-enabled appliances into minions of further destruction.
Vista began, a la "Akira" style, taking over computer systems around it, secretly uniting and building a massive database reserve. Around the year 2012, the original work of Vista produced a massive control protocol causing all car dealership robots worldwide to start mass producing control chips, mechanical parts, and other portions of the Microsoft server-station for launch. A computer virus unleashed by 16-year-old, pimple-faced hackers late in 2013 caused the International Space Station to fail, effectively killing everyone on board. The crippled station was sold to Microsoft at a reasonable $23 billion dollars, and the server-station was born.
Nintendo, with its proliferation of the Wii and cutesy, bouncy Japanese characters and awesome E3 booth babes, launched its own plan into action. With the help of Ultra Jesus and Mario, Nintendo launched a massive infestation of Pikmin and Pokemon upon the United States, enslaving any and all that possessed a Nintendo GameCube, DS Phat, DS Lite, or Wii. The Wii otaku were first to fall prey to the shininess and bounciness of the Japanese bikini girls, and were carried away by the Pikmin to become food and wine to power Ultra Jesus.
MSN Products[edit | edit source]
The small division of Microsoft, called MSN (Micro-managing Nano Shit-Lickers), contributed absolutely nothing to this article. They just sat around and played Excitebike. So that, children, is why everyone in the world hates MSN.